Mum has colostomy and dementia anyone else know how to deal with this?

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Mum has a colostomy and vascular dementia its ok at home I can try and get her to go and get clean but shes getting worse in public and its very embarrassing she just wont go and change and thinks she dosnt smell? How an earth do you cope shes getting worse and just gets angry?

I know this is an awful thing to have and I do feel for her but this is not easy for me in public and sometimes I don't want to go out with her.

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Coloplast makes 2 kinds of barrier strips and they will send you samples. We tried the round ones and the ones with little wings added for my mom who is 84 with severe dementia and keeps pulling off the appliance she hates.. The wings gave a bit more time. And if she partially pulled it off, it would re-stick - unlike the wafer. The current problem is that she keeps pulling off the bag from the ring. She is very quick and it makes an awful mess. They want to try an abdominal binder, but that seems like it would prevent proper drainage. I am looking for a solution. Any ideas?
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Do the nurses use Brava Coloplast around the wafer? It's an elastic barrier strip that gives extra support to the wafer. Covers the edges. She may still pick, but could be harder to get to the actual wafer. My husband doesn't pick at the wafer, but it would sometimes get caught at the top of his clothes. The dementia and ostomy are not easy to live with for a caregiver.
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D you /nurses use Brava Coloplast around the wafer? Its elastic barrier strips that conform around the wafer and give extra protection. She may still pick at it, but with the double layer, may not be as easy to undo. I feel for you as living with a husband with Ostomy and Dementia. Sometimes he's cooperative and sometimes not so much.
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Correction....they are called Brava barrier strips....the round ones are designed for ostomy patients.
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There are adhesives strips called BRAVO strips you can use to adhere to the outer edge of the wafer. I had to start doing it for my dads ostomy. Also, cut the little tab off the wafer so she can't pull it up.
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I am in a similar situation, except my father won't be distracted by a puzzle, a stuffed animal, silly putty, etc. He HAS recently become distracted by the elastic band of his diapers--he has added elastic to the list of materials that "hurt" him, including metal and wood. But even letting him mess with the underpants won't keep his hands from drifting back to the ostomy. My mother has tried different types of bags and a band around his waist, all to no effect. In fact, he destroys so many bags she exceeds the number Medicare will pay for monthly and has to purchase them out of pocket. Who knew a poop bag could be so outrageously expensive? This is ruining my mother's quality of life (never mind the multiple changes, not just dumping each day--she has to sleep on the couch and wake up every two hours to deal with the messes he's made). If anyone has ANY other suggestions, I would appreciate it. (As for keeping active during the day in order to help him sleep at night, he has debilitating neuropathy and has refused to even sit in his wheelchair for meals for the past couple of weeks. The hoyer lift has been employed on occasion, but he lashes out violently at the home health workers, who will simply leave when he physically assaults them.)
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After working with alzheimer's and dementia patients for over 20 years I have learned to keep their hands and mind busy. Try playing their favorite music, put a favorite movie or old tv show in the DVD player. At the same time give them a hands on job such as coloring, drawing, a puzzle, blocks or even dominoes. Remember the old game of lining the dominoes up and tapping them just to watch them fall? I have witnessed many dementia patients that still enjoyed watching them fall. They will smile or laugh at it. The goal is keeping their mind and hands busy.
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You may be able put a soft wrap around the abdomen, like a loose abdominal binder or the kind you would use for a back support, even with the bag underneath (check with ostomy nurse first), or use a leotard-type garment in most cases. We do this a lot with G-tubes. Find other things to occupy the hands too.
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I need advice. My mother has a colostomy bag and dementia. My
problem is she is beginning to pick off and lift the wafer consistently.
She is in an assisted living facility, and she is demanding more and
more attention. She doesn't realize she is doing it. They don't know
what to do to stop the behavior either. Any ideas?
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I'm looking for answers to the same problem. My wife has had a colostomy for 30 odd years now and it's never been a problem. Now as her Alzheimers gets worse, her ability to manage it is waning fast.. It came to a head yesterday when we had lunch in a restaurant.. She made an awful mess in the toilet there.. You can imagine the scene with diners banging on the door, needing to go.. Eventually got in and cleaned her and the toilet. As for solutions to the problem, I don't think there are any.. I will from now on, have to accompany her to the toilet.. The temptation is to not bother going out, but that signals an end to an important part of life, not only for her but myself and family/friends..
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