She knew I was on route to fix her computer issues and in the 15 minutes it took to get there, she was gone! Got into a strangers car and left 3 minutes before I arrived. Police helped track her whereabouts and home safe, she claimed outrageous things like he was her helpers ex husband and a cop. Police said he was a cab driver. I'm completely nuts over this! Need to place her in assisted living or more! Need so much advice, I don't know where to begin. Is it customary for assisted living or memory care to want a year prepaid? How do I scrape up that much for a year and hope her home sells in that amount of time to continue her care? I'm POA/ healthcare administrator. She has to go, she knows,too! Can I get some guidance please? Should I hire an attorney? Got the package on a disc, got to be at moms to access it. This is very heavy crap! I'm sure many of you....been there, done that! Want any possible help you can give!!! Desperately in need!
Memory Care Assisted Living is paid for monthly; I've never heard of paying for a year in advance! You can place your mom, sell her house, and that's how she'll finance her stay there. I don't feel like you'll need an attorney; but you can get a free consultation from an Elder Care attorney for guidance about everything, and what to do about Medicaid down the road, should she run out of money to private pay and outlive her money. There's usually a 5 year look back from Medicaid, so know what you're in for BEFOREHAND; that's where the EC attorney can be helpful.
I had to place my own parents in regular Assisted Living (AL) back in 2014 when dad fell & broke his hip, so I've 'been there/done that' for years now. Dad passed in 2015, mom is still alive with advanced dementia now, and living in the Memory Care building of the same AL. She gets some very good care there and the caregivers love her, so it's a great situation that's 4 miles away from my house. This MC is all inclusive, except for incontinence briefs, Depends, which I order for her from Amazon and have shipped directly to her apartment every month. You should scope out the local MCs in your area to see what you think, and which one feels like a good fit for your mom. Don't look at regular Assisted Living; make sure it's Memory Care that has locked outside doors so she can't wander out and get lost!
Hopefully she has enough money to finance her stay in the MC until her house sells? You won't need to scrape up enough money to pre-pay for a year, so don't worry about that! Talk to a real estate agent and price the house aggressively so it will sell in a reasonable amount of time w/o sitting on the market for a year.
Wishing you the best of luck!
You recognize that Mom can no longer live alone.
Mom realizes that as well.
Now you sit together and discuss her options. Does she have a POA in place? She may be well enough to make you POA and understand what she is doing. So step one is to see an attorney to make you POA for her. Then you discuss how to get her bills sent to you for payment and how to add you to all accounts as POA.
Step two is to get Mom an assessment. That is to go to the MD, to make an advance directive appointing you as her health care advocate and the person to get health care information regarding her condition.
Step three is discussing what level of care Mom needs and what care she can afford, then to visit places offering care from her.
Wishing you good luck. You sound as though this has just hit the fan all at once, but I suspect it has been coming along. Ask us questions one at a time, and know we are here to try to help. Now, deep breath. And best to you.