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Like I said in the title guardian wants to split possessions.


Here is the whole story.


Through a very contentious guardianship proceeding, it was agreed that an independent guardian would be appointed to care for my mom.


Since then, mom has been moved to a memory care facility. I know the plan is to sell the house. I was told months ago that her possession would be sold, but the children would have first opportunity to buy items.


Now, I have learned that the guardian wants to mark (or sticker) all items in house. One color for me, one for my sibling, and one that we don't care about. If we cannot agree to an item it will be marked for storage. Storage that my mother will have to pay for!


I do not believe this is in the best interest of my mother. Why would her things be given to us when they can be sold for her care? And if we cannot agree on the item - why should my mother pay for storage and this settled at her death?


Would a judge approve that my mother pay for storage of items that she will never use again?


By the way - my mom does not know where she is or who anyone is anymore. She has no mental capabilities anymore.


Should I challenge the guardian and say that these items should be sold or at least be paid for by myself and sibling?

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I'd go ahead with the sticker plan, except for the part where "no one wants it" so it goes into storage. Instead just say, "okay I'll take it" Or let your sister have it and then if possible when you end up with it, sell it if you can and what won't sell give to charity. Then use the money for your mom.
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Reply to whaleyf
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I would send a letter to the court. Could it be that this guardian is being paid by the hour and is figuring out how to get more than their fair compensation by creating jobs?

They have legal guidelines, do you know exactly what those are? I would get the paperwork pronto and get this resolved before it is to late.

I do think that you are allowed to take personal items from the estate, these are typically non asset, unless they are very valuable and specifically addressed in the will or trust. What would your mom want is the question of the hour.

Get yourself educated about what this guardian should be doing, is allowed to do and how they report to the courts. Knowledge is power in these situations.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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My mom had a guardian and conservator appointed by the court. Very contentious between the twisted sissies and me. Many things were sold at an estate sale. Some things were split, which for the most part I chose to not participate. I was the caregiver, just did not care. Every squabble that occurs that guardian is charging your mom.

Putting things in storage, I agree does not make sense, at all.

Twisted2, mom's POA and executor, decided that mom's business assets would be put in storage, that happened four years ago now. TS2 tried to sell some, but had more an emotional attachment to the items. Just yesterday, the things were moved out of storage to my unfinished basement. Over the course of that four years storage cost in excess of $25,000.00. That is finally done. To spend that kind of money on something TS2 considered only worthy of donation was causing issues with closure of mom's estate.

So, Stone, the more you do not agree, the more it will cost mom funds that are needed for her care. Accept 1/2 of the things to keep or donate or give to others. Go with the flow to get done with it.

Estate sale would raise funds for items at a rate of pennies on the dollar. It is tough, I know. I actually was the one that asked for a court appointed guardian, the situation was out of hand. There was nothing I could have done that would have convinced my twisteds of anything. Work with the guardian to show that you can and will cooperate for your mom's best interest.
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Reply to gladimhere
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I'm assuming a guardian was appointed by the court because you and your sister couldn't agree on what should happen to care for your mother. I'm sure it's more complicated than that but that's the basic boil down. I think you need to just let the appointed guardian do their job, they need to report every penny and every move to the court, they aren't simply working autonomously or for themselves since this person isn't associated with the family aside from this new appointed position. I'm not sure why you would have an issue with this, I think the more typical complaint in this situation is that the guardian is selling everything off without consideration of the kids so I'm thinking you got a caring one who want's to do the best they can by the entire family. It is their primary job and purpose to care for your mom though so if they feel there are enough funds to manage the care she needs until her passing while giving you and your sister the items you want why fight it? If you really don't want any more items then don't put stickers on anything but I would urge you to include your children in claiming items important to them as well if you have any. You might be surprised at the salt shaker your daughter became attached to because GM always used it when they cooked together or something. Then if both you and your sister have dot's on the same items and one of those is the salt shaker be sure to calmly, dare I say lovingly, tell her it is (Sara's) choice not yours and will go directly to her, maybe it will make a difference and maybe not but currently you say you have no investment in any of the items so it should be easy to just give in then and say ok you take it sis but maybe you could consider leaving it to Sara in your will. As far as having your mother pay for storage, again if the guardian feels it's affordable why fight it and if the items really don't mean anything to you why not let your sister just have them, no regrets?

If your mom runs out of money to support her placement and it doesn't sound like that's on the horizon, it's the courts problem not yours, they appointed a guardian to use and conserve her money the best way possible and if she runs out I think they then become responsible for making sure she continues to be cared for, she wont be thrown out on the street and it may very well be the case that the MC she is in also has Medicaid beds or a plan in place to keep her there even if she should run out of enough money to self pay. This isn't like a family trying to preserve a LO's estate by finding ways to keep things and have the state pay for their care, this is the state in full control. Maybe you are just so conditioned to fight for your mom, feel like you need to protect her that's it's hard to let go now that you no longer have that responsibility or option. Did you agree that having a court appointed guardian was the best resolve at this point? Try stepping back and out a bit here, focus on taking care of yourself and the rest of your family don't let go of your family treasures (they may have monetary value and they may not, it doesn't matter) and memories out of frustration now and be sorry later including the gift of being able to just spend quality time with your mom now in her current home, the one she will likely pass in. Be a part of her life and just experience that from now on, let the guardian take care of the details and headaches they are being paid to take care of.
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Reply to Lymie61
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I can't know what you are speaking of here. Things bring very little today, and are bought by people looking to resale. They give you almost nothing. They would not likely cover a month in memory care; of course on the other hand you could be talking museum quality antiques. It personally sounds to me as though the guardian is doing an excellent job, selling things of value for her care, letting you and your Sis decide on momentos, and with the incentive to get along being the storage thing, which personally I think you should have to split cost of YOURSELVES.
I think they are given some leeway. I think in the interests of there starting to be some peace here I would go along with this as long as the things you and sib will split up are not of any great value.
The constant going over every little thing becomes sort of habitual. Time to pull together and assist this guardian in doing all she can to make things better for Mom, and to share with Sis the pain of where Mom is at now. Sometime we would rather "go to war" than face "grief".
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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StoneMan Aug 27, 2019
the guardian is not selling things for her care, she is giving them away to either my sister or myself. I think they should be sold no matter if they are valuable or not. They are still the property of my mother, not anyone else
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"But my sister changed that [mother's will] last year."

Come again? What do you mean? I'm sure you know that your sister could not alter your mother's will, so what did she do?

I know that you and your wife have been going through hell over your mother's care; and I appreciate that there is still some distance to go; but how are you going to get past fighting your sister? It's in your and your mother's interest to do so.

Tip: starting a fight with the court-appointed guardian will not help.

If there are only two items you care about - unless by some freak of fate those are the same two items that your sister claims are the only ones she cares about, of course - why would it not be your best course of action to accept them and walk away? Do you have practical grounds for concern that the money will make a material difference to your mother's welfare?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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StoneMan Aug 27, 2019
My mom had dementia and my sister took her to lawyer and had the will changed.
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StoneMan, Solomon was being reasonable in exactly that way when he suggested cutting the baby in half. These items have sentimental value, do they? Do you mind if I ask what sort of things they are?

Ohmygod I can see the two of you getting into a bidding war at the sale...

Wouldn't it be a *relief* to let it go?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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StoneMan Aug 27, 2019
yes - I wanted to walk away. Guardian asked me not too.

The two things I want is a old secretary bookcase and a very heavy old safe. those both were specified both wills of my mother and father (except the very last will)

I was willing to walk away.  nothing good will come of this meeting
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@StoneMan, why challenge the guardian's plan? Why not challenge the will made last year? Surely your mom wasn't "of sound mind" that recently.
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Reply to TXGirl82
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So try and get sister to agree about stickers, choosing things till the last picture hook is taken care of, keep what you want from choices, have an estate auction with what's left, put proceeds in an account that requires 2 signatures to withdrawal with your and your sister's name on it. Account is not in mom's name but extra funds are available for her if needed. No storage fees, no mess to deal with at a later date, upon mom's passing the two of you can then close out the remaining money from the account, having the bank issue exactly 1/2 to each of you.
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Reply to Takincare
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I am against storage as it ends up costing more than the value of the items. We did that with some of dad's furnishings when he moved from AL to LTC. Paid about $1000 to store and then I said enough and we donated them to Salvation Army. You can’t hardly give away used furniture...it’s ridiculous. Even young kids just starting out don’t want our stuff.
When we sisters went through dad and mom's items when we moved him to IL, we used stickers. There were 4 of us. If two or more of us put a sticker on the same item we drew a number from a bowl. The person with the higher number won the choice. You can also use a deck of cards. We accepted the decision and moved on.
Then we had an estate sale and donated what was left behind. You need to come up with an agreed upon method to dispose of these items and not store them.
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Reply to Harpcat
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Lymie61 Aug 29, 2019
My family did this with my GM estate but rather than draw for each item with more than one sticker they rotated turns so for instance if my mom and her sister both wanted a table and my mom and her brother both wanted a chest she could decide which one to take as her first choice and either hope her sibling would choose something else first so she could choose the other item on her next turn. But they got along and this also included discussions about why someone wanted something (it was important to and for their child or grandchild) so there was a lot of agreement prior to the choosing even.
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