Mom has a broken hip, I have fibromyalgia and dad is a heart patient. Looking for ways to cope. Any tips?

As you already know, you can't change anyone except yourself, so you must learn how to let go of the stress that your mom brings to your family. She's a grown woman, and if her husband, your dad wants to put up with her codependency, that's on him, not you. She's not going to change, but your reaction to her can. Your profile doesn't say that you live with them or not(hoping you don't) but if you do, and even if you don't, you must learn to set some much needed boundaries, to protect your mental health. I don't know how involved you are in their daily caregiving, but it's important that you take care of yourself first. Caregiving is very hard, stressful, and exhausting, and can definitely take it's toll on you if you're not careful. It's not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. Take advantage of the 2 weeks that mom is in rehab, and get some rest, have some fun, and enjoy the break. And if mom is able to return home at some point, make sure that your dad has some hired help in place, so her care won't fall all on him or you. If dad can't afford it, he will have to apply for Medicaid, and they will pay for so many hours of help per week. That will make things easier for him and you, and help you both cope better. And if for some reason mom's care gets to be too much for your dad, then he will have to look at placing her in the appropriate facility, as her care is his responsibility, not yours. Your responsibility is taking care of yourself, so make sure you are doing that. Best wishes.

Check with you county's social work division. All of you may qualify for some type of home care. The social workers will advise you on any services you may qualify for. If you can afford it, you can hire a home care agency to come in and give you a break.

Medicare will normally pay for 21 days of rehab for your mom if she's making progress with physical & occupational therapy. That should give YOU and your dad a nice break, in reality, while she's away from the house which will give you a chance to rest yourself. I doubt you'll be able to visit her in rehab, due to the covid restrictions, which will also be a nice break. Call when you can and leave it to the SNF to see that she's cared for and gets back on her feet.

I had a full hip replacement in 2017 and was back to work in 3 weeks. The pain was minimal, all things considered. My father was 91 when he fell and broke his hip, but he did not have a full hip replacement; it was repaired with pins & screws instead. He did okay in rehab but wound up going to Assisted Living with my mom afterward b/c independent living was no longer viable for him.

Your mother will either pull up her bootstraps and cooperate with the PTs and OTs in rehab or she won't. You have no control over her behavior. Now may be a good time to show her a bit of tough love (both you AND your dad) and let her know that you won't be babying her when she does get home; that you expect her to regain her strength and get back to her old self during her stay in rehab.

My mother is 94 and has always been coddled her whole life, which has been a big mistake, in reality. She's not a child and being treated like one and being allowed to act like one didn't help her thru life one little bit. Both you and your dad can help your mom to be stronger now and to realize she has it in her to get well and keep her chin UP. She's an adult and it's expected of her to act like one now!

You can get through this, and all will be will. Have faith and take things one step at a time, one day at a time. GOOD LUCK!