My Mom has had a recent decline in abilities due to Parkinson's. Am I neglecting her? - AgingCare.com

My Mom has had a recent decline in abilities due to Parkinson's. Am I neglecting her?

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My mother has been with me a year. Her ability to walk has been gone for almost two years. She does not like to exercise and has been sleeping a lot. Recently she had a significant decline in coordination and inability to comprehend.she now needs help eating therefore her food intake has declined.She is 90 yrs old and has acquired parkinsons among many other ailments. if she wakes up on her own she starts out better than if i wake her. this has made our medication times vary, but remain in sequence. Am i being neglectful letting her be??

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It sounds like you're already doing your best. People with Parkinson's can usually function very well until they reach the stage they no longer can function on their own.

I used to know someone with Parkinson's, and in the end she died of a severe infection because her urine was very dark. Just like you described, my friend lost her ability to walk as well. She was in a nursing home and used a geriatric chair. Nurses had to use a special patient transfer sling to transfer her between her bed and chair. The transfer was a long one because she was pretty heavy at the time, so this took them much longer to transfer her.
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You're certainly not neglecting her . You are to be admired , as in anyone who keeps a parent in their home!! You do what you can to keep her healthy and happy but above all , take care of yourself and get out and do what makes you smile . moanddo
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You are doing a great job. Don't second guess yourself on this. I'm caring for my 87 year old mom and she would sleep all day if Inlet her, although I let her sleep until 11 am most days and encourage daily napping. It helps with the medicine schedule too and ensures me thy she is getting enough to eat and drink to stay hydrated during the day. Everything at this age is a delicate balance. Making some allowances for sleep and food is necessary so your loved one doesn't feel deprived, yet you can keep them on a schedule that is bet suited for them. My mom is on a salt restricted diet so I do not put any table salt on her food. Her meals are low sodium. Occasionally I will let her have something salty like a steamed crab or two. But I never let her have the salt shaker. Keep up what you are doing allowing her to enjoy and have quality time of her life.
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We've all been down the road of caregiving, which is a not-so-pretty job. Do what you can, but don't jump through hoops!
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At this point in time, there is nothing you can do that will stop the progression of her illnesses, and don't beat yourself up over it. Just let her do what she can do, and love her for the time she has remaining. Merry Christmas!
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NO neglect and its not your fault. You will just have to adjust to her decline thats all. My Mom slowly stopped walking when she was 88, a year after a cerebrel hemmorage stroke. We got to the point we followed her with a wheelchair as she was so stubborn she had to walk but didnt realize her limits. Here we are, she is 94, I have a hoyer lift, she doesnt walk or talk and I am feeding her now as I write this, all pureed of course..She still laughs, what more can I do, doing my best, thats all we can all do, adjust through the stages for their needs. Hang in there!
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It most likelyis that you are NOT neglecting your mom. Step back and make sure that you are not neglecting YOU. We can get caught up in what we are doing and forget to care for ourselves. Ditto on the other responses.
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Just hugs to all of you. Not at this point yet with my mother, but have the same concerns (and thought, careisgiving) and the compassion in your responses is so touching. No wonder you are care givers! Thank you!
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My mother is 73 - but has the body of a 85 year-old; she's lost her mobility; she can't feed herself; she has severe urinary incontinence; her speech is impaired due to long-term effect of stroke; she just wants to sleep all day long. I don't even try to get her out of the house anymore because she is resistant and just want to stay home. She has no quality of life. I go to bed every night hoping she'll die in her sleep because she can't participate in life anymore and it's so painfully difficult for me to watch. It's not easy seeing a parent decline...
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This post is almost as close to my experience, except for the Parkinson's part. It's so wonderful when people can keep their parents at home. My mother sleeps a lot also, does not like to exercise, and has a difficult time processing information. I try to get her to walk in the mall. However she needs lots of breaks and has a difficult time seeing which takes away her enjoyment. My mother has a good appetite and wants to sleep after, so I let her. Declining is a natural progression in old age. We do the best we can to make our parents comfortable. Don't fault yourself for your mother's decline. It's her natural progression. Just appreciate the time you have with her, knowing that you are doing your best:)
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