My Mom had the home health aide and visiting nurse leave because they did not call first. What do I do?

Make it clear to all PT/OT and other home care personnel, THEY must call first, that is the first item on their work list, or they will have no work (let them know, it's part of their job to call first).

I think it will be easier to convince the paid help to call than to change your mother!

Another thing you can do is acknowledge that you cannot be, or be held, responsible for your mother's attitude. The worst that can happen, actually, is not that they'll stop coming (it's no skin off their nose if they get paid for turning up and going away again) but that your mother gets charged for an appointment from which she derives no benefit. People's taking offence, your mother's punctiliousness (eye roll), any frustration that any party might feel… not your fault, not your problem.

Also, I agree that what marks out the cream from the rest among professionals working in domiciliary settings is their ability to accommodate elders' foibles. The very best ones will humour her and call courteously ahead.

i wouldnt stand for it either . your mother should retain control of her life and her home until she draws her last breath . i get irked when i hear people talk about forbidding things , denying access to things or taking control of an elder . you have no lawful right to do that unless you stand before a judge and have the elder deemed incompetent . that is not an easy process and for good reason .

Not a big deal. Everyone has a cell phone.. Tell them they need to call first..

I think mom is being sensible. How does she know it's really the aide knocking if they haven't called first? We keep telling our elders not to open the door to strangers, but we want them to be able to figure out that THIS stranger is an aide?

Let her do without the help she needs because she will expect you to fill the bill and she will continue to cancel more and more of their visits because she doesn't want them taking care of her in the first place.

Even when Mom lived in her own house all OT, PT and nurses called me. Then I called her. They just confused her.

My mom did not like that they called on the day they were coming. She wanted several days of advance notice (I am not sure what she was planning or had on her dance card that could not accommodate the visiting nurse or PT). She always gave the folks a hard time when they arrived as there "must be a better way to do this". Must of the folks just took it in stride and went on with the program. I was more bothered than they seem to be. Different agencies handle things differently.

I would make sure the agency has specific orders to call first and if not ... you know what will happen...

Just because someone is old and sick and home bound, doesn't mean they shouldn't be treated with courtesy. These nurses and aides are coming into your mom's place and into her personal business and your mom wants warning so she can be prepared. I think you or I would request that at a minimum.

If the dr. orders the services they need to be provided. Check with another agency if available.

My aunt has a schedule as to when the caregivers come. When PT and OT were coming, I needed them to call me to let me know so I could be there to observe and take her to the commode beforehand and after. I liked it when I knew more than a day in advance when they would come so that I could schedule her other appts around their visits.