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I'm not familiar and have been reading up on Dementia but nothing is really helping me to understand - maybe because I'm just not ready to let go of my mother? She totally didn't recognize me the other day, but smiled when my nephew came into the room and she even said his name

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My mother is post-stroke (2006) and is finally showing signs of vascular dementia; urinary incontinence, slight memory impairment. I've opted not to get her treated with drugs because its side effects were worse than the disease. My priority is her quality of life in the last years. As long as she's not a danger to herself or to someone else, then go cautiously on any drug a doctor wants to push; really think about it's side effects and what's best for your mother. You can't improve dementia. You definitely can't reverse it. It's just been a very slow decline for my mother and very difficult to watch. I go to bed every night hoping she'll die in her sleep because she has no upside to her situation...just a road of absolute misery lies ahead of her.
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Have her evaluatef by either a neurologist or geriatric clinic. Then go from there getting advice from various healthcare practitioners whom you trust.
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Dementia has good days and bad days, even moments of clarity mixed with hours of confusion. I will tell you that old memories, from long ago, seem to remain intact. She will remember what you did at age 5, but forget what happened five minutes ago. Share those good memories and keep her positive.
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Given her history I would suspect vascular dementia. The cumulative effects of TIAs or poor blood flow to the brain cause brain damage. Some of the effects can be physical and some mental, and they often show up out of the blue as the brain experiences another traumatic event. Keep reading, this site is full of info and advice.
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Keep reading, go to a local class, check out Deepa Snow videos on you tube. I think the hardest thing to come to grips with is she is losing her memory and the ability to reason. You have to learn to not try and convince her that her mind is not working well, don't correct her all the time and don't memory quiz her. Keep her calm, learn how to divert her attention and a little fibbing now and then is fine.
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