My Mom (89) had a mild stroke in March. She has recovered but does not want to do anything now. Any advice?

The symptoms described seem typical of stroke patients. Once I had dinner with a friend and her husband who was recovering from a stroke. When she left the table, he begged me to help him die.

Have you seen the film about Patricia Neal's recovery from her stroke. It's inspiring and unfortunately doesn't seem typical of what happens with elderly patients. Full recovery is unlikely, however the depression can lift in time.

You can't fix your mother. Let your love show, comfort her and at the same time separate your own emotions from her symptoms of disease. Get help form her doctor if possible, and perhaps join a support group even if it's online like this one. Blessings to you both.

Will she see her doctor? After my mom's stroke--after which she developed vascular dementia, something you should as about--her rehab doc prescribed an antidepressant. Mom had always refused them in the past, but because mom was completely incapacitated at the time, we were able to say yes. The pity party that had been going on for several years slowly evaporated and we got our old "can do" mom back. It's worth a discussion with her doctor. If she won't go, send him a letter outlining your concerns. And take care of yourself!

Support groups are an excellent idea; then people who are battling to recover don't feel so isolated and alone.

He sounds depressed - maybe get him evaluated for anti-depressants - could help his spirits and energize him to do more.

My mother had stroke and mildone. She had to learn howto walk again twice. She has some mild type depression because she lost my father. Some days she cry out for the lost . She some time want walk or exercises either. I have to stay on her. Make her walk to restroom. This goes with the disease after the stroke.

You might try playing music she likes, and maybe include songs she can hum or sing to.

My Mom is 91 and now living with us so I see her every moment that she is awake. What she used to enjoy and what she now enjoys is different . What she used to do and what she now does is different. How she used to react to various situations and how she now acts is different. I think these changes are due to a number of aging-related limitations she has had to deal with. Dementia is a major factor, but hearing loss and immobility issues are also huge. She has stated many times that she is ready to die and almost "looking forward to the next chapter of her existence" ! It certainly isn't how I feel about my life , but then I'm not 91 and I don't have to deal with her medical issues. We all want our parents to be happy and look forward to each new day but sometimes I think we need to respect their right to say "ENOUGH ! I'm ready to go" and love them enough to not tell them they are wrong and should be and think like we do.

I agree that your Mom should be evaluated for depression, if she hash;t already been.
I can't tell by your note to what extent your Mom is not functioning.
However, in nursing, we would use the positive approach. For example, put her meal in front of her, put a spoon in her hand and encourage her to eat. Or in the shower give her a wash cloth and encourage her to wash her face while you wash her back. Praise her for any small efforts.
Let her know how much her small efforts help you.
It doesn't always work, but is always worth a try.
It doesn't always work at first, but it gives her an idea of your expectations.

My MIL was depressed but did not want to be a burden. Even got to the point that she could fold my clean clothes while she sat up, which was a big help.

Any time someone has a serious medical condition, be it a stroke, heart attack, cancer, war injury, etc. we need to find a new *normal* way of life and it is not easy.

It's taken me 4 years to finally accept my new normal, and it was quite a struggle after having breast cancer. My Dad is still trying to find a new normal after 5 years after having a heart attack... he had to stop driving and he hates that.

Very normal to be depressed after this! my friends mum had a triple bypass and suffered a stroke during the op she came out in Oct and only started going out again now since march SO give her time they do get depressed after something like this i even got very depressed and wouldnt go out after i hit my head. She probably feels scared alone now which is natural but she will recover. my mum had a seizure lucky i was here when it happened i thought she would never go outside again but she did a few months later give her time in the meantime go with her and encourage her dont worry i never thought my mum would recover and she did its fear and depression when anything happens the brain it can cause depression!