Mom sleeps all day and is going into dehydration again. I end up yelling at her to drink to eat, she is getting tired and me too. - AgingCare.com

Mom sleeps all day and is going into dehydration again. I end up yelling at her to drink to eat, she is getting tired and me too.

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Mom suffers from incurable UTi's. She is taking xanex to help her anxiety but then she sleeps all day and tells me to just leave her alone. She is also fully disabled, just numerous issues, I dont have hospice although I know she qualifies for it. I am comfortable with most of my decision and I know alot medically. I just not comfortable making the decision to leave her alone. And what I mean is just to allow her to sleep and make her decisions when to eat and drink. But I am tired of yelling at her to drink, eat. etc..... I stopped her taking the xanex because of her sleeping all the time, but today her aide said she thought she needed it. And really I was doing it for me and not making my mom comfortable. OH JESUS I sound like a freaking nut. Not sure if any of it makes since.

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I'm with Blannie, half or even lower doses of Xanax might work without knocking her out and depressing her more. Sometimes an SSRI in low dose if tolerated should be the first choice for anxiety disorder rather than a benzodiazpine - would that be medically possible to consider?
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The last thing you need is a swift kick in the rear. You need a shoulder to cry on and a good hug and to be told it is OK and be handed a nice warm (cup of tea is my favorite beverage)
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Thank you blannie.
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Mover2, can you reduce the amount of xanax so she doesn't want to sleep all of the time? If she is really coming to the end of her life, I'd let her sleep if that is what she wants to do. If she's of sound mind and is ready to go, then keep her comfortable. If it were me, I'd call in hospice to see what they had to say. I think that is a very good idea, if only to get a second opinion that you're handling things in the best way possible.
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Your right Veronica it is not about medicine. I just need a swift kick in the ass. Thank you.
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You are not a freaking nut, you are a loving caring daughter who wants her Mom to be comfortable and peaceful. it is no longer about "what is good for her" it is about what she wants Absolutely agree with Pstiergman. Call in hospice. You don't have to sign up You may know a lot medically but this is not about medicine, it is about the end of life and few people have experience with that especially because it is different every time. You have to go through it many times to be comfortable with end of life care and the decisions you have to make. Blessings
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Thanks pstiegman, I have been able to control all the fires, so far, but it has changed, I cannot do it anymore. One goes out, two more pop up. But she has been put through the ringer, and just wants to rest.
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You are trying to do a Hospice on your own, which takes a lot of courage. It also takes experience, and knowing what to expect next. Give them a call, you will feel more confident, more at peace with yourself and with her.
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