I've asked this question in various ways, I'm sorry if I'm getting to be a bore. Mom is 91, has CHF, pacemaker, post stroke with vascular dementia, chronic pleural effusion. Has had pneumonia 4 times this calendar year. At this point, since her last hospitalization, which was initially an ER visit for a fall, but turned into a thorocentisis for the effusion, which turned into Sepsis, she is back in NH. She can no longer walk or get herself out of wheelchair without help; her speech is so much more disordered than it was before the hospitalization and she's very frustrated. I am medical POA (brother is financial); I've spent hours in the last week trying to find out if the NH had the Xray done that the pulmonologist ordered on followup. Mom is still getting OT, PT and Speech, but does not seem to be making any progress. I am suggesting to my brothers that it's time for a Hospice organization to come in and evaluate (in part because I think that we are at the point of needing Hospice and the NH is saying no, she's not there yet). My brother's response is, let's get another MD in to evaluate her. Well, the MDs at the hospital evaluated her, they talked to the palliative care team, who, without seeing her, said, no, not one of ours. Really just venting, I just am so exhausted from being on the phone with NH all the time, trying to get information (did you do the Xray that outside dr ordered? Has she seen the dentist? What does the PT think?) and thinking that I need to go up to see her once a week (75 miles each way). I work very much full time at a stressful job for NYC. My brother and SIL are saints; they are 15 minutes away and go to see her several times a week, but I'm the daughter. I had a total meltdown on Friday night and told a huge whopper, that I had a bad cold. Spent the weekend doing things I wanted to do; going to Synagogue, having a sabbath lunch with friends, going to the theater today with my husband. Tell me if you guys think that at least a Hospice eval is NOT a bad thing to do. We can always say no, right?