Mom gets upset when I need to leave. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

Mom gets upset when I need to leave. Any advice?

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Mom, who has Parkinson disease and dementia, has been doing this for some time now about not wanting anyone that comes and visit her to leave. She said that she does not like being alone and we moved her into assistant living . Well, she fell several times and ended up in the emergency room also. The doctor said she needed to be in Rehab to see if she could still live in Assistant living, which he told us that he really did not think so. She fell there as well and the Rehab said there was no way that Mom could stay by herself anymore and told us that she really needed to be in the Alzheimer's/dementia unit so that she could be watched more closely.
How do we handle or does anyone have any suggestions on how to help her see that everyone has to go home eventually. She told me yesterday that she was going to get sick if I leave and said that I will be better off without her if she died. She's a real stinker. Thanks

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That little stinker is putting on a show to get your attention. Been there. Done that. We no longer rush to the ER for another drama series. Get her the right meds and stay away (yes AWAY) forcing her to interact with her peers. When we limited visits to once a week, the tantrums stopped.
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Have you stopped in to visit your Mom without her knowing you were coming? I have read on these forums that a grown child has visited unannounced only to find his/her parent actually enjoying him/herself with the activities at the rehab or nursing home. Sometimes the parents will put on a show saying they hate being there and/or don't want you to leave.
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If your mother has dementia, there is no way to reason with her about this. The part of her brain that reasons is broken beyond repair. What has helped my mom is meds that treat depression and anxiety. Is there a geriatric psychiatrist who comes to her facility? Get her seen; these meds have helped my mom be calmer, less worried and not so agitated.
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