I remind her it's okay and that she is 93! She always says "I just don't know what's the matter with me!" Her pride, no doubt... so I try hard to make her feel like it is nothing, "See how fast it is to just change the pad?" She still gets in a tizzy and sometimes cries over it. Other than comforting and hugging her and assuring her it is no big deal, what can I say???

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Since she is mentally able to understand, I would make it seem so simple and no big deal. I used to tell my cousin that NO ONE has a perfect bladder and that ladies over 50 have the right to have bladder mishaps. There's no disgrace in it. In fact, I would tell her that I was glad to see the pee, because it meant her kidneys were working fine and that made me feel good.
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Yes.... it's not enough that I remind her she's 93... I think being specific about the physical reasons her organs have changed will help. She's very smart, so more info is a good idea. Thank you.
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Could you explain that as people age their organs gradually lose the strength they used to have? Assure that it happens to others as well - and it's not her fault.

Perhaps you could also follow the events with something that really makes her happy - music, sitting and talking, having a cup of coffee or tea (if she can drink them, depending on her diet), watching a favorite program, looking at photo albums....something the two of you have always enjoyed doing together.
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