It's the first night with the live-in aid and my Mom is freaking out. What do I do?

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She wants her to go home and has been screaming for hours! Help!!!

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Best of luck to you and your mom... I had my mom home with me for 3 months ( in her home). I moved in with her and she repeatedly wanted to go home . When I would ask her where she thought she was she would answer " I don't know". So sad. She had aides with her during the day and really got to love them. She would beg them not to leave when I got home from work . Your mom will get comfortable with them but it may take some time. My mother is in a long term facility now it just got too difficult to keep her home after the dementia started to worsen. For the most part she is ok. But most importantly she loves the CNA'S and nurses that care for her . When I visit her everyday for dinner she would rather them sit with her than me. At first I was upset with this reaction but I am ok with it now because these are the people that she spends her days and nights with. So what I am saying if the caregivers are compassionate loving and caring give it some time and I am hopefully for you that it will work out!!!!:)
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I would stay away from Benadryl, our doctor said it itsnot good for the elderly. We had someone for 2 days a week for a month and my mom didn't really sleep this eights. Fortunately between myself, sister and cousin it worked out. If you have the same caregiver every night it may just take a little time. I used a noise machine and soft music, no words which really calmedy mom down when she was anxious.
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Haven't gotten to this point but thanks for the info. Mom had a new nurse hadn't seen her in 2weeks and remembered her name. Can't remember her sons.
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I did not read all of the comments above so I apologize if this has already been said. It may be helpful for you to stay with both of them for a few nights as well as administering some anti-anxiety meds. Just stay until Mom gets used to the idea and discovers that the aid really is o.k. Best wishes!
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My friend's 21 year old daughter decided to do in home health care over night while taking a break from her studies to become a nurse. The experience with her 1st patient sounds very much like yours. It was really stressing the kid out, for the 1st 2 weeks. Then she decided to try reading to her patient, sitting by her in a chair as patient was in bed. It really calmed her down. She alternated that with some very soft big band era music as she sat with her over night. When it became time for her to go back to her studies full time the patient and patient's daughter were calling the agency for 2 weeks, begging them to send HER back. :-) Friend's daughter felt the same way, missed her patient very much, spoke of her often, worried about her. Maybe it just takes a while for the new situation to seem "normal"? I had to laugh as a 3rd party seeing the care giver side of it, at 1st it was "how's the new job going?", ..."just awful". Then it was "how is school going?", ..."Fine, but I miss my patient!".
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Sorry to hear this. I went through this stage with my Mom, even in her own home, she wanted to go home, Its their confusion and looking for comfort in their mind. My Mom got so bad the doctor prescribed depakote sprinkles for her. Mom was sleepy for a month (which was a relief actually), and then great. I gave half of what they recommended, hated to use drugs. To my surprise Mom has happier ON medication, then off of it. They dont want to be aggitated and confused either. I would ask her doctor, and not for a antipsychotic med! Is she on aricept or anything, those can aggitate them in the wrong way too. Xanax is good but youre asking for a fall when they are unsteady on their feet so be careful. I would try old music, christmas songs, or calm talking and redirecingt them with short sentences but sometimes when they are like that no matter what you can not reason with them! Very sad and upsetting for all, good luck.
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Thezookeeper, you made be laugh when it is hard to do some days. At least she got the gender right... My mom doesn't remember their names either, but the aids have all been women, so she too has gotten the gender correct. Hang in there!
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My mom spent the first 2 weeks wondering who these new people in her house were and what they were doing here. It took about that long for her to figure out that they were here to help her, even though we kept reminding her who they were and why they were here. It's been several months, and now they're full-time, which was yet another big hurdle to get past : "Why aren't they going home ?" We're still working on that one, and even though one of the caregivers has the same first name as mom, she can never remember either of their names and just calls them "the girl". At least she got the gender right.
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Thank you all. Yes, she did meet the aid a few times & seemed to like her. I am staying for the first few days. I live out of state & must return to work on Monday. We gave her 1/2 Xanax last night, she calmed down but was up most of the night. Things seem a bit better tonight.
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lol...oops..".solution" not salutation
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