Prior to these falls, she has advanced rheumatoid arthritis in her knees which gives her a bad gait, has balance problem and is type 2 diabetic. In April she fell & had hip surgery. After that, we transfered to a skilled nursing facility. Each day she complained about the facility and insisted on going home. She was discharged (reluctantly but we had equipment ready).
I live with her & my sisters hired a 24/7 caregiver for safety and help. She would not accept being helped & it lasted 5 days. The Medicare benefits provided at home PT and weekly nurse checkups, but she refused them. Used mainly a cane instead of walker and I couldn't stop her from walking outdoors on grass and slippery cement alone & w/o a call button or cellphone. Six months later, after using the toilet (it's made for disabled w/bars) by herself, she lost balance, fell and broke the neck of her other leg & had hip replacement surgery.
Placed her in highly rated & recommended skilled nursing facility for post-acute rehabilitation. It's been less than a week and I'm seeing the same attitude of complaining about procedures (like trying to have me remove the leg restraints for stabilization of bones), writing daily to-do lists for me of items she wants with her (like a checkbook!), yet asking us to hand feed her meals and then barely eating. Wants one of us 4 girls to visit at least every other day. I live in the family home close to the facility and after 1 week feel exasperated and even mad for her refusing to comply with at home therapy and the hired caregivers assistance.
I dread her coming home now, after the earlier experience. The nurses there agree she is quite difficult and put her close by their station to respond quickly but I feel overwhelmed from seeing her put herself in unsafe situations. Is there another perspective for me besides being worried for her return and the anger?