Follow
Share

For a while I've been concerned about my mom's memory. Just little things I've noticed. Not remembering things that should come easy, personality seems a bit different. She is still driving and attends a class at a local university its a free thing they offer seniors in the area. She does not do the work but enjoys the lectures and the reading. She reads quite a bit as well. But yesterday we were attending calling hours for a family member. I had spoke with my mom twice that afternoon about when she would be arriving. She rode with my brother. When I got there I saw my mom and walked over said hi and gave her a hug. She looked at me and said I'm sorry your face looks familiar and I know I should know who you are. I was shocked because nothing like this has happened before. I responded by saying it's me Jill with a look of surprise. She then said did you change something you look different and I told her no and she knew who I was the rest of the evening. I'm very concerned by this. From what I've read its a late sign of dementia but I haven't seen anything else this alarming. Has anyone else experienced something like this? I called her later that evening to see how she was doing. I didn't mention what happened but neither did she.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
It is time for a full medical with this incident the REASON you are seeking it. I hope you are on advanced directive and have POA with Mom. If not this is the time to do it when she can pass competency tests. Your Mom needs referral by her MD for a neurological workup. You should discuss this with her, telling her what happened, telling her gently but certainly that this is not normal, and telling her that you and she need to support one another to find out what is happening here. I am so sorry. This IS of concern.
Helpful Answer (12)
Report
TakeFoxAway Nov 2022
Alva, great advice. I would just leave out the "this is not normal" part in talking to mom unless mom resists getting help. Then j.m. may need to say it. I'm sure her mom will know that it's not normal. That might really set off alarm and panic in Mom. Agree with everything else. I just know my mom is really sensitive to words and how I phrase things,
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Mini stroke? Can you have her seen right now without alarming her?

Or contact HER doctor and ask for advice.

Time for you to be proactive. Hoping for you and mom.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

I'm assuming she still lives alone. When that's the case, no one is there to observe the downward day-to-day spiral, and dementia patients are good at covering up. I had a friend who talked to his sister in another state on the phone every weekend, and he had other friends and drove often. One day he went to buy a new car and drove it off the lot, stopping at a restaurant on the way home. When he came out, he couldn't find his car. He'd apparently forgotten what it looked like. Someone at the restaurant drove him to his nice neighborhood and dropped him off, but he couldn't remember his townhouse and asked for help from a policeman who lived across the street. Policeman took him home and saw him safely in - only to observe huge piles of trash in the gated courtyard, old appliances sitting around, toilets not working, ceiling vents pulled out and hanging. Friend had been living like that for some time, and his sister and friends hadn't been inside his gate so never suspected anything was wrong. They were horrified because he had acted completely normal with conversation and activities all along. Friend went to memory care after that. I'd suspect that your mom has been having more issues than you know. You'd better check her bills and financial accounts ASAP.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

I'd get the car keys away from mom stat. No joke. Until she gets a formal diagnosis going here, mom needs to stop driving b/c something is definitely wrong, and you do NOT want to get The Phone Call (God forbid) that she's wrecked the car and killed herself and/or an innocent person on the road. Which happens often when dementia/Alzheimer's is at play and an elder is driving a motor vehicle.

That said, before my mother was officially 'diagnosed' with dementia, she started introducing me as her 'mother'. I thought she was joking at first, expecting to see her laughing, but she wasn't. That was the pivotal moment in time I KNEW something was wrong, and had her medically evaluated. Your mother forgetting your face is a huge red flag that she is having some cognitive issues herself, and is a lot further along than you suspect.

Best of luck and my condolences on a difficult situation.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
Cover999 Nov 2022
I know it's from a tv show, but similar to Pops on "The GoldBergs" when he was driving down the street normally, then all of a sudden turned into a restaurant with an outside eating area with his grandkids in the car?
(0)
Report
My mom lives with me. She thinks I am the hired help sometimes. It made me sad to start with but I keep it light. She may say are you going to be here tomorrow. I say yes I live here. she said, Oh I forgot.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Sorry to say that this is just the beginning and now is the time to make certain that all of legals are in place, while she's still competent.

Keep her active and engaged for as long as possible, but put more safety nets in place around her and it's time to put up the car keys.

This is the start of a long process and my heart goes out to you.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Get a neurologist quickly. It sounds like a stroke
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Your moms needs to be seen by a physician who can test her and see what is going on. She should not be driving or managing the care of children, etc.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Check for UTIs and low sodium.
Happened to my mom. She doesn't have dementia.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

My Daddy started off not remembering events like his wedding. He was married to my Mama for 49 years until she passed. Then, he started not remembering what streets to take to the store (took those keys away that day). So I had him tested for ALZ. And not the three word test either. I insisted on the 30 question test. Turns out he failed it and did have ALZ. He forgot my name one day. Another day he forgot who I was. But I read everything I could on ALZ and knew what was coming. The week he passed away he knew who I was and he was quite with it. I would suggest to have her tested oh and another thing... UTI check for it and check for it often. When my Daddy was in a care home I noticed something was off and I told the caregivers that he was not making sense that he needed to be tested for a UTI. This home had the best caregivers, anyway, they immediately called and had a sample taken and sure enough he did have a UTI was given medication and bam! he was better the next day. Keep and eye on her and if you notice something that is not right insist on testing!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter