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When pointed out to her she gets extremely child like and says 'I wont cook, i wont use your refrigerator" etc.. I ask her if i have ever asked her not to cook etc.. and then I say to her to act like an adult not like a child (she has a long history of saying immature like comments when asked to do something differently). She drives and is of sound mind.

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The two most common "failures" on a fridge are not adjusting the feet so the door closes and not vacuuming the dust out of the condenser coils underneath. So take care of that and change the furnace/AC filter too while you are at it.
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shim the dam front feet of it up 1/2 an inch and it'll close itself..
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Marimarie, sounds like your Mom is just absent minded.

My significant-other some times forgets to close the refrigerator door and he is very much in sound mind. I can come home after work and know what rooms he's been in prior to him going to work because of open closet doors, open cabinets, etc.

For the refrigerator, I took the heavy items off the door shelves, so now the door closes by itself.
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Personally, I would just shut the fridge......there's no point getting into a discussion about that, and she may feel that you are humouring her if you trot out a trite speech. PAM- you are right- she shouldn't be driving!
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If she has difficulty remembering something as simple as a refrigerator door, she should NOT be operating an automobile. She is forgetful. Forgetful does not work well with driving a car. A simple road test is to have her drive you somewhere. Do not assist her with directions, just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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Umm, that doesn't exactly sound like being of sound mind to me.

It does sound like she is feeling resentful about being in "your kitchen" and having to use "your refrigerator" etc. Has she recently moved in with you? It must be very difficult to give up one's independence and have to move in with someone and be somewhat dependent on them -- even if the new place is ever so much better, it still isn't yours.

Telling her to not act like a child may make her feel all the more like she is losing her independence and that you are now the "mother." While in some ways that may be true, it might be kinder if you didn't rub that in.

Also, instead of defending yourself, "Did I ever ask you not to cook?" it might go better if you reassure her. "Oh Mom! I love it when you cook. I'm so glad to have such good help with you here. It is just that that darn refrigerator door has a mind of its own and you need to shut it firmly so it knows you're boss!"

In other words, look past the refrigerator door to your Mom's feelings. Help her be comfortable in "your" house.
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