My 90-year-old mom forgets her 9 kids. An ill brother visits daily. She thinks this is not her son. How can I answer?

Thank you so much for your help and for answering my question. It really, really helps! Now I know how to handle this situation. Have to be grateful we still have her and that she still jokes and smiles at times. So important to look at the humor when you find it.

Hi Rose, sorry your first inquiry didn't generate any responses. So here are a few things I've learned from caregiving folks with memory loss and in observing those in memory care with them. We all have to understand that some days are clearer than others for those with memory issues. Whenever I visited, I would walk in and say Hi Mom, it's me, (name). Sometimes I was the daughter. At others, I think my Mom thought I was her sister (long gone). Fortunately, that was my favorite Aunt so I took it as a grand compliment that she thought I was her sister! The best advice I can offer is to 'go with the flow'. When Mom asked where my Dad was (he had been gone for 30+ years), I would say he had a meeting at church. When asked where 'the boys' were (her family's term for the slew of brothers she grew up with) I said they weren't back from the soccer game yet. When asked when she was going home, I would say the bus had been delayed. I quickly learned that it didn't matter who she thought I was. She always greeted me with a gorgeous smile and it was apparent that I was someone she cared about.

Just go with the flow. Maybe he's a "nice man" who wants to visit her. Don't contradict her, just let her believe whoever she thinks he is.