Background: My 80 yr old grandfather is currently living in a nursing home and has alzheimers. He lost his wife (my grandmother) in 2001, and remarried shortly after. Said spouse is now "estranged" living in an independent living and has abandoned my grandfather after nearly causing his death (long story but not relevant). So, here he is in this nursing home, still fairly independent but his mind is obviously shot. Can barely remember his children/spouses/dates/age, etc none of it. So my mom thinks she wants to take care of him at home, despite the fact she is not financially independent and never has been, and is raising my 10 year old brother. BTW I am 26, and have experience since I have been working in a nursing home for 10 years. So anyway, after nearly a decade of not getting a long with grandpa, the last year or so she has gotten closer since he has not been his ornery old self. She wants to move him back into his abandoned house, sell it, use the proceeds to buy a house she chooses. To this I say "Mom, what will happen when he really needs more help than you can give him?" She says "I will get to keep living in the house, they won't take it if his caregiver is living in it". My conclusion: she is using him to get a house. She went furniture shopping today and he only has about $8K left (since in nursing home has had to "spend down"...) and wants to use it for new furniture.... (his wife's family took all furniture and belongings, appliances, mowers, etc). She has also talked about selling his truck to buy herself a van. I don't think she wants to take care of him because she truly wants to, and I know she feels guilty about him living in a nursing home. But she has a 10 year old child that needs her attention and devotion, and it is time to let things be. I love my grandpa, but sometimes a loved one just cannot care for an elder. So while I can see she may be doing this out of some guilt, I think her real intention is to exploit his assets and get what she wants before stuffing him back in a home. Does anyone else think I am jumping to conclusions?