Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Realize that what your mother expects has no power over you. She can expect anything she has a notion to expect. So what?

If Mom expects you to bring her mail to her within 10 minutes of it being delivered, that certainly does not create a requirement for you to get it to her on a certain schedule. If she has mobility issues, you might kindly put her mail within her easy reach, when it is convenient for you. If she is mobile, she can go to the mailbox herself, or retrieve it from where you leave it on the hall table. What she expects should not control what you do.

I'm sure that as a loving daughter you try to do for your mother what she really needs you to do. But that may be different from what she "expects."

One son and one daughter live with me. (They pay room and board, and that enables me to keep my house.) If I called to them and said, "Please bring me fruit juice, my blood sugar is low," they would drop what they were doing and bring it promptly. (I have diabetes and this happens once in a while.) But if I expected them to bring me beverages throughout the day as a matter of course, they'd laugh out loud! I realize that my household arrangement does not involve caregiving, but I think the principle is the same. You shouldn't routinely do for your mother things she can do for herself. If it takes her a long time to dress herself, that is OK, she can dress herself. If she has an early morning appointment you might offer to help her, out of kindness, but not because she "expects" it. Don't refuse to ever do anything for her, but don't let unreasonable expectations drive your activities.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Set boundaries, now.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Set boundaries and hire caregivers to give you some time off. My dad who has Alzheimer's has 24/7 care via three caregvers working 8 hour shifts.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter