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I'm taking care of my mom 88 3/4 years. She does nothing but sit & read & watch TV. Expects meals & clothes taken care of, she could get her own lunch, but doesn't want to. The thing that drives me nuts is she picks at her skin until she has many sores, & gets upset with me for trying to get her stop & take care of them. Help!! I don't have other family to help.

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I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It sounds like you need to decide what your mom should be doing herself (such as meals) and have a nice long chat with her to discuss these items. Is she reluctant to fix her meals because she doesn't want to make a mess or be in your way? Or are you already fixing something for yourself and she thinks she will just have some of whatever you're eating? She may think that this is the way you'd like it if you started doing this when she moved in with you. You may want to look into frozen dinners or something easy for her to fix. But she may need help in understanding how to use your microwave as all of them are different and can be confusing sometimes. Or you may just want to have plenty of snacky food available since the elderly usually don't eat much anyway. You may also have to encourage her to do it. But communication is the best way to get things started. And once you've decided what you will and won't do - stand your ground by realizing if she's really hungry - she will get up and get something to eat. Now about her clothes, if you want her to wash her own clothes - do you have a hamper for her? If so, then explain that to her too. But is she reluctant because she doesn't know how to use your washer/dryer? Or does she just think it's easier for you to include her stuff in with your wash since she may not have a full load? Talk to her about it. You are not her servant. If she doesn't want to do some of this stuff - can she afford to have someone do it for her? If so, hire someone to come help out with this stuff. As far as picking at her skin though - that's a tough one. It sounds like it may be a obsessive/compulsion problem - so you may want to talk to her doctor about it. Good luck!!!
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Any medical diagnosis? Sounds like she might have dementia... Get her evaluated. Hire caregivers to give you some reprieve during the day. Can you afford a nursing home for her?
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