Mom seems to enjoy being difficult to get me working for her. Is this dementia?

Follow
Share

She is 86 with vascular dementia and possibly BPD in Asst'd Living. Is the love of roiling the waters typical?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
3

Answers

Show:
Has she always been this way? If not, then I'd say the damage in her brain is behind this behavior. And it really doesn't matter which cause of the damage is responsible, does it? Is she seeing different doctors for the two conditions? I'd contact both of them and describe the new behaviors, in case some adjustment to her meds might help.

In dementia, many behaviors that appear to be manipulation are really a matter of needing/wanting attention and no longer being able to remember how to ask for it in more socially acceptable ways. Inhibitions are also lowered.

Can you calm her when she starts to roil things up? If not, I think I'd say something like, "Mom, you seem to be upset right now. I'm going to leave and do some errands. Maybe you'll be calmer when I get back and we can play a game of cards then." (Or I'll be back on Wednesday or whatever fits, of course.) Don't expect this tactic to "teach her" not to behave this way. That is very unlikely to happen. But at least it removes you from the scene and may help her calm down for this time.

Here is an AC article on the subject. (Articles have ads in the middle of them. Be sure to scroll past it to get to the rest of the article.)
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/dementia-behavior-manipulation-154554.htm
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I suppose that it could be causing it to seem that way. Why are you working for her, if she's in AL?

From my experience the stage of being difficult, confrontational, challenging, etc. was just a stage. It eventually passed and my LO became quite easy going and cooperative. It was rough for awhile though. I didn't realize at that time that it was Vascular Dementia. So, later, when her symptoms were very pronounced, it made sense.

How long has she been diagnosed with the dementia? Of course, it could be BPD too, but, when brain damage is involved too, it's difficult to say.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Chances are she always liked to stir the pot. Think back.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.