My mother is 86 and has dementia. I am the only daughter and have 3 brothers.
She was with me last year and after i told my brothers i cannot handle it anymore, the one took her for 5 months and could'nt handle it as well and said that he thinks she must go to an old age home which we all agreed to. I had to take her against her will and she was very unhappy..cried the whole time and i fetched her after a week and took her back home with me. I have a carer taking care of her from Monday to Friday during the day while i am at work. Financially its hard on me because she gets a small pension and we have our own business and financially its a battle to survive. She is with me for more than 6 months again and i feel i cannot handle it mentally. Me and my ex husband are living together, because of financial reasons, and still have a son of 19 living with us as well. He was in a bicycle accident 23 years ago..had permanent brain damage...think like a child..not responsible. I feel so trapped...cant go anywhere and feel stressed and nerves but do not want to go on medication. I realy want to look after my mother but at times i feel that mentally i cannot handle it. To see her sitting all day long and not being able to read or to knit, kills me. How can i convince her that an old age home will be better for her... where she can have 24/7 care. Am i selfish?