Mom doesn't want to get up in the morning, says she can't move. Doesn't even try, lays there repeating she can't move--but I know she can.

While I understand Parkinson's is difficult and it is painful for them to get up if she has the ability to be mobile you need to make her get up.

My grandmother is 95 almost 96. She was living on her on and moderately mobile. Her knee was hurting too much for her to bother to get up much besides to get the mail and go to the bathroom and grab dinner. She did not bother to tell us she decided to no longer walk around her house because she didn't want us to take away her mobility.  Her mobility's decline was quick and she ended up with bed sores because of the lack of mobility. Now we are dealing with infection from the bedsores and trying to get her healthy enough to possibly move her into a nursing facility if she gets healthy enough.

After reading all the good responses below, mom is not going to change her morning routine. She is old, tired and very weak on top of the issues Parkinson's brings.

Is it possible to hire a caregiver a few mornings a week when you have a lot to do certain days?

You need help and a break too.

My mom starts most of her days @ noon. She has bad knees but lives in a senior apartment. She has a part time sitter. We have started leaving a snack and an OJ drink box on her nightstand for the late mornings. This helps a possible low sugar issue from sleeping in.
It has helped a lot.

We are not going to change any bad habits at this point in time.

Good luck and God bless

April is Parkinson's Awareness Month and boy do the majority of posters here need some information about Parkinson's. To start with I will assume the patient is on some type of Parkinson's medication. That will have worn off during the night. Having Parkinson's, by definition, means the patient is stiff and slow, and the stiffness is painful. It can be hard, as a Parkinson's patient to even roll over in bed to change your position, much less get out of bed. During the day during the "on" times when the medications are working the patient may be able to do things that they simply can't during the "off" times when the meds have worn off. The behavior described doesn't sound like freezing but difficulty moving due to stiffness. Parkinson's patients need their "Medication On Time, Every Time". Give her meds first, let them start to work and then help her up. Also, wearing silky or satiny bedclothes may make it easier for the patient to move in bed. I know some people who need an hour in the morning to adjust and get going. Another issue that may be at play is Apathy. Hard to treat but is a nonmotor symptom of the disease that can affect 30% of Parkinson's Disease patients. It's not depression but a lack of motivation to initiate doing things, even if you know you should. Things like exercise, taking your meds timely, or even do things you generally like or want to do. In dealing with apathy it can help to have a routine and cues or triggers that will help to initiate what needs to be done.. There's a whole lot more to Parkinson's than what might be seen on the outside, and the patient may not even have tremors. It would be helpful to talk to the doctor, hopefully a neurologist who is a Movement Disorder Specialist for advice. Try asking for a referral to a Physical or Occupational Therapist for ideas to help with these tasks. Also try any of the several Parkinson's organizations.for help in finding support groups and general information. My
recommendation for immediate advice is the Parkinson's Foundation at 1 800 4PD INFO. Parkinson's is a disease that is rapidly growing and a new patient is diagnosed every 9 minutes in the US. There are currently over a million people in the US with PD. It has genetic causes in some but most cases are suspected to be caused by exposure to chemicals this country still hasn't banned. BTW if you know a veteran who was exposed to Agent Orange and who now has Parkinson's get them to the VA for their 100 % disability benefits. Like I said, there's a lot more to Parkinson's, as I started to learn after my own diagnosis last year. I'm trying to do what I can to help and have just started participating in a clinical trial for a drug to possibly slow the progression of this neurological degenerative disease. It can be annoying to deal with someone with a disability but give Mom a break. Maybe there just are times when she "can't " do whatever, especially with this particular disease. Like I said, it's Parkinson's Awareness Month.

It always makes me sad to read about "narcissistic" parents or caregiving children not believing a loved one who says they can't do something.

THEY'RE OLD. THEY'RE TIRED. THEY'RE BEYOND CARING ABOUT OTHERS' NEEDS FIRST.

Now that that's been made clear, I think you need to figure out how to work around those realities. I doubt your mother wants to sit in a wet diaper and get bedsores either, so if she says she's can't get up, chances are she can't. She isn't being lazy, she's 95, for heaven's sake. She doesn't have the ability to move at the speed of someone who's 30 years or more younger than she is, and she has a legitimate disease that seriously affects her ability to move.

Please consult her doctor and see what can be done to help her.

Have you contacted anyone in a Parkinson's support group for suggestions?

It is looking like your Mom is ready to get some peace from life and trying now. And what is the goal here? If it is getting her cleaned up, you may be down to bed baths and a bedsore prevention mattress. You may also want to consider hospice care now, or even placement. I don't see battling a 95 year old who has simply had enough. They get exhausted. They get so exhausted that anything that complications of bedrest brings, be it sepsis from bedsores or pneumonia, is somewhat of a deliverance.
You are attempting to care for your Mom still at home. You may be close you your own exhaustion of limitations. I am so sorry. I think I can only suggest you think of all options and choose the one best for you at this time.

This sounds very hard! Must be frustrating. Like, come on, just GET UP. Is she maybe just giving you a hard time? Since you know that she CAN move, then why does she tell you she can't? Just complaining? My mom complains to me sooo much but to others she's all sunshine and rainbows. Ugh.

I would be torn on what to do. Fine, stay in bed if that's what you really want. But, knowing that is not good for her and that YOU will suffer the consequences of that, then, you really want to push her. At some point, I guess you will have to give in and let her continue on her journey of decline. I'm sure it is hard for her and not fun and just too much most of the time.

Good luck.

She may feel like giving up. I’d talk to her doctor & consider anti depressants for a while. Offer to take her out for an ice cream cone or to do the things she enjoys.

Is there a possibility you can hire an in home aide to help out just in the am for a few hours?

My one client would do ANYTHING for me that she'd refuse to do for family. Perhaps it was the fact I was being paid with HER money that got her up and moving. In fact, just knowing it was a day I was 'on', I would arrive at 8 and find her up and getting dressed. She didn't want to waste a second of a day where she was once again 'independent'.

There's not much to look forward to, for your mom. I imagine time is one big blur and she no longer feels impelled to get up and on with the day. Is she not a 'morning person'? I'm not and hate getting up.

What would encourage her to get up? A 'fancy' breakfast? A special coffee or morning drink she has to get up to have? Just getting up to get dressed probably seems overwhelming and not worth it.

One thing you do NOT want to do is hurt your own back. I did, and wound up with 2 back surgeries, effectively ending any work in the CG field.

It's not like you can let her lie there indefinitely, as you said, she's had bedsores and that would be adding insult to injury to leave her lie in a wet diaper for hours more.

How cognizant is she? Is this behavior just acting out or is she legit not with the program enough to understand that she needs to be up and cleaned and eat. I know a lot of Parkinson meds are on strict schedules as to when they must be taken.

If you don't 'force' her to get up, how long will she stay in bed? Sometimes you have to accept what you cannot change and work around it.