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She lives in a full care nursing facility, and they shower her 2 x a week. They have to have a machine to lift her to the bathroom and shower. She says the
showers are always cold. But she is always cold. Always ! She is always in pain she has arthritus in her neck and gets killer headachs constantly. She is incontinent. I can hardly stand to be in the room? Any one have any suggestions or ideas? If she knew she would be humiliated if she realized this.

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Good for you ! I have had to go to the administrator. I got immediate results. You should have an advocate, run by the state. In our state it is apart of medicare, Medicaid ? (I can't remember since in our house we have both.)
You can report abuse, or if her health is at risk ?
I have decided that for the amount of money it costs and for the sacrifice to have Mom in a nice place, I will not put up with her being mistreated in anyway!
I really try not to complain unless I need to. I have found Moms place to be reasonable people, and professional . I am grateful.
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My bro and I spoke to the administrator at my mom's AL. We spoke about not having toilet paper in my mom's bathroom. When I gave my mom a shower, I had a surprise waiting for me. She had nothing to wipe her bum. The nurse wouldn't look at her toe where the tip was blackish to dark brownish. The nurse told me, "I don't do feet." The nurse has also been talked to about getting some medicine for my mom's arthritis pain in her knees. Nothing had happened for 2 weeks. (I know, too long. My bro is POA) The administrator said my mom has medicine PRN (when needed). NO ONE, NOT even the nurse told us that the entire time we talked to her. My mom will NOT tell any one when she is in pain. Never has. We told the nurse that. One of the caregivers in my mom's cottage nods her head to her chest. Looks to me that she's sleeping but she could just be resting her eyes. But what if someone gets hurt or needs her?????? My bro, being POA, let me talk as I visit my mom more than he or my sis does. You HAVE to advocate for your mom. I was tactful and diplomatic yet VERY firm and concerned. I communicate with my bro and sis when things occur. My bro and I have been trying to get things resolved. Finally, we had to go to the top. As far as I'm concerned, they are on notice. I will CONTINUE to bring things to their attention. If they can't take care of things to benefit my mom, there may need to be a change in where she lives. I wrote down my concerns and have it dated and with whom my bro and I spoke with.
Good luck! Blessings
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Well its been 10 days. The smell is gone. No more problem in that
area. So far so good. Thanks everyone!!
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Nothing like face-to-face.
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Keep requesting the director of nursing and tell her/him. Try the assistant director if necessary. Telling a nurse, sadly, I have found, is too frequently a waste of time.
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See how receptive they are. Maybe you can bribe them with candy or a small gift card of " appreciation" for all they do. Hey, whatever works.
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I think in person you can get a better idea of their intentions, if they are interested or simply placating you. This is important for your Mom's health and well-being, and your peace of mind. And nose:) ttyl, xo
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First attempt with the clean up. I called. The nursing director is new this week. I haven't met her yet and she was not there. The nurse there, on the long term side of the facility said it was the aids who were responsible for that and she would speak to them?
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Do you suggest in person? I have no problem either way. I usually go over at night because I work during the day. Also I like speak to the nursing director during the day. Because I think it pays to go to the person in charge. I will let you know what happens.
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I'm with Chris on this one. They probably help her to a cold, 2-minute spitbath that doesn't include washing the nooks and crannies. Not enough time for the water to warm up. Add to that the less-than-fresh linen and stale clothes that I'm sure they don't help to wash. Her treatment plan needs to be reviewed. Without being crude, crass, and obscene, give the staff a piece of your mind.
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Poor baby:( find out if her bowel movements have changed this week. Talk to who is personally caring for her. Get her some cottenelle wet wipes and use them till she's clean. Does she dress herself? Is she changing her undies everyday? She needs extra assistance now. Keep us posted:) xo
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It smells like poop. I don't believe they are cleaning her privates.
They shower her 2x per week the cost of the full care is stagering. So paying more seems like Idk? I read on the site here that a shower 2 x a week at a facility is normal. She is not bed ridden in that she sits and sleeps in her mechanical chair all day and night. She refuses to sleep in a bed. She says it scares her because she can't get out. She can not walk at all. I feel like I have to keep on top of things all the time. For her continous infections, etc. They are now testing her every so often for UTI'S and sinus infections etc.
She feels like nothing in her room is her own. That they come in and take what ever they want? (she says) Is that normal? I know when she lived with me, she was always accusing us of stealing her stuff ? We would always find it in her room. Usually right next to her.
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Do you mean like they are not cleaning her privates, or BO? What? Is she bed ridden? Maybe her clothes are not clean. If she is incontinent, she should be cleaned every day. Can you afford to have a health aide twice more come in to giver her a WARM shower? I would complain if the shower is cold. I'm sure they don't want them to get scalded, but a little more care needs to be taken, and you need to get the ball rolling. Talk to admin ASAP. Take care:) xo
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