Hospitals will make you shower--or they'll 'help' you into one.
My FIL got all the showers in the last year of his life in the hospital. A BIG part of caregiving is about hygeine, as so many huge issues can come about as a result of neglect. I actually saw a YouTube video with a patient who came to the podiatrist for a 'nail trimming' and this man had ANTS infesting his feet, since he never bathed, a colony had taken up residence in his feet.
Now I have a pretty strong stomach--but OMGosh, that was gross. Plus his toenails were probably 3" long, altho he kept insisting he'd had them cut last month. The dr actually had a Craftsman dremel tool that he had to use to grind down the nails.
My mom is pretty haphazard now with her showering and she smells horrible. I know she'll do a washcloth/sink 'bath' everyday, but she isn't getting clean. I am not involved in her care, really, and all I can do is be supportive of my poor YB who is the CG to her.
She refuses aides of all kind, so we're just in a holding pattern. I know we're not alone in this situation. There's 5 sibs and she won't let anyone but YB really take care of her. He's completely burnt out.
I’m unsure what you mean on your profile about mom not driving. With dementia and vision issues there should be no doubt that she isn’t safe to drive. It’s not uncommon for the elderly, especially with dementia, to become fearful about showering. Falls are common and become a big fear. Have you tried hiring an aide to come in and help? Often, people with lots of experience caring for elderly dementia clients have some tricks of the trade to get cleaning accomplished.
My MIL hasn’t showered or bathed in over a year. It’s nasty, but she’s refused all help from the PSW’s. She won’t even let them wipe her face with a cloth. She’s also refused the foot care nurse from trimming her insanely long toenails. We think we’re going to have to sedate her to get that done, as it’s causing problems with her mobility.
It boils down to the fact that I can’t (ethically or physically) drag her to the bathroom and get this done. Even in hospitals they won’t. It’s gross, but if she says no, there’s literally nothing I can do. I just make sure that her sheets and clothes are clean. In the end, it’s all you can do.
I see from your profile that your mother is 79. When did you begin to notice that she wasn't keeping up her usual routines? Have you talked to her about your concerns?
My FIL got all the showers in the last year of his life in the hospital. A BIG part of caregiving is about hygeine, as so many huge issues can come about as a result of neglect. I actually saw a YouTube video with a patient who came to the podiatrist for a 'nail trimming' and this man had ANTS infesting his feet, since he never bathed, a colony had taken up residence in his feet.
Now I have a pretty strong stomach--but OMGosh, that was gross. Plus his toenails were probably 3" long, altho he kept insisting he'd had them cut last month. The dr actually had a Craftsman dremel tool that he had to use to grind down the nails.
My mom is pretty haphazard now with her showering and she smells horrible. I know she'll do a washcloth/sink 'bath' everyday, but she isn't getting clean. I am not involved in her care, really, and all I can do is be supportive of my poor YB who is the CG to her.
She refuses aides of all kind, so we're just in a holding pattern. I know we're not alone in this situation. There's 5 sibs and she won't let anyone but YB really take care of her. He's completely burnt out.
It boils down to the fact that I can’t (ethically or physically) drag her to the bathroom and get this done. Even in hospitals they won’t. It’s gross, but if she says no, there’s literally nothing I can do. I just make sure that her sheets and clothes are clean. In the end, it’s all you can do.
It's important to keep the privates clean, since bacteria can be a real issue.
I see from your profile that your mother is 79. When did you begin to notice that she wasn't keeping up her usual routines? Have you talked to her about your concerns?