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The other day I visited my Mom in Memory Care. She was having a bad day and was unhappy. We went to a quiet place and over a cup of coffee had a talk. I discovered that Mom was not relating to the other residents but to the staff, mostly 20year olds, both male and female. She was not viewing them as caregivers but more like classmates or cousins. When she saw the aides working together she saw a group of girls which she was excluded from leaving her feeling "alone" (her word). If there was a male aide in the group then she saw a bunch of girls flirting with or chasing the boys making her feel "jealous"(her word). I visit frequently and have been impressed with the aides. They work together well and they seem to really care about the residents and interact well with them. How can I help Mom?

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This is not uncommon, but take care in prescribing medications to deal with a problem that is a symptom of dementia. I agree with the other comment to get your mother more involved with volunteering and working with some of the caregiver staff. I know that in some assisted-living's they will bring people out of memory care to engage in some of the activities on the assisted-living side which can be helpful and rewarding.
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Nojoy, with memory issues it is not unusual for an elder to go back into time, thus your Mom might think she is in her 20's herself.... there is no way of changing that, it's all part of the memory journey. Thus she will feel left behind by her "new peer" group and relate to the jealousy.

Check with the facility to see if Mom can do "volunteer" work with the other residents, thus helping the others of her own peer group.... in her mind she would be helping "much older" residents when in fact she is helping her own real peer group.
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Your mother is delusional. Talk this over with the MD. Don't let it progress to paranoia and depression.
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