My Mom (75) and doesn't need to be driving due to several accidents in recent months. Any advice?

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She will fight us and hate us. My mother is very independent and will probably disown me and my sister if we try and take her car keys away from her. At her last doctors appointment the doctor said she was going to report her that she didn't need to be driving. Our mothers mood changes day to day, or hour by hour. She can be down right hateful at times. She cant manage her finances or remember to take her medication. My sister is now living with her to help out and every other day she tells her to get out that its her house and she doesn't need any ones help. There are days she makes us angry and days she hurts our feelings she will pick a fight with us and cuss us out. This is why we are looking for answers on how to deal with all this.

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You have big problems. Can she be moved to a nursing home? That would free your sister, end the driving and get her meds regulated.
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I agree if the elder driver has caused auto accidents it is time for him or her to get off the road.

If those accidents were the results of other driver's negligence, than an older person should be able to drive if they can get from point A to point B safely with a clear calm mind.... don't forget that young people get into their fair share of accidents, too.

Otherwise, if your Mom stops driving, guess who takes up the slack? You do. I've been driving my parents for the past 5 years, and now I truly hate driving. Never did I realize that my parents liked to get into the car and go places 2 to 3 times a day. Since I work, it was always difficult to schedule time to drive as I had to use my vacation days and sick days... by the times I needed those days, none were left to use.... [sigh].
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Another thing to consider - There are scores of adult children who are terrified and face this issue, but it hasn't happened yet. The wording in your posts suggests it HAS happened, multiple times. There comes a point where, as much as you hate to, you must take action. Many times a note from a DR to the DMV OR, at least in California, an anonymous call to the DMV expressing the history and worries will lead to a letter requiring a new drivers test. No harm there. They aren't going to out you. Let them take the test. If they pass on their own merits, great. If not, there is no-one else to blame and you do not receive the brunt of the anger. After several accidents, it seems like something you really might want to consider.
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Incompetent drivers can be reported, even anonymously if you wish to, by mail to: Texas Department of Safety,
PO Box 4087
Austin, TX 78773-0320
Generally, if a doctor tells you not to drive, your license is suspended until he has cleared you. You could also report Mom to her insurance company.
The safest and fastest way to stop her is to simply borrow her car while yours is in for repairs, and just don't bring it back. Realize that you cannot reason with dementia or a drunk. Neither one can process the information. Sure she will get mad, but you tell her, truthfully, that her license is suspended and if she gets in another accident, the other party can sue and win. Is it worth it to lose her house and savings?
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I'm sorry I cant give you any different advice, you already got wonderful advice! I just want to say that I agree with them and I wish you luck. You and your mom are in my thoughts.

( I'm Sorry rovana about your sister)
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I am right there with you. I have taken my future FIL to the emergency room, where his o2 level was 82, and the admitting physicians seemed incredulous that the was still driving. But NO-ONE bothered to advocate to us and even his PCP and Oncologist has been helpful in any questions about his driving/not driving. I rode with him one time and it scared me to death. If he had his keys taken away I think he would become completely unhinged, and I am not his child. If anyone is interested and has HBO on demand, there is a great series on AH right now, the part that deals with memory (there are multiple parts to the documentary) and one woman has to take a driving test and it is eye-opening to see firsthand what happens.
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dgoade, this sounds like a situation that is more urgent than you might think. The mood changes, aggression and irrationality make her a very dangerous driver. Please do everything you can, as soon as you can, to get her keys, have her car disabled and towed away to repairs (that will never get done), call the DMV, call the police, put a club or boot on it....whatever might work. My youngest sister was killed by a woman who should not have been on the road - but her family did not stop her - they showed up at the hospital to apologize - talk about locking the coop when the chickens are all out! I know that personal situation differ and also legal requirements from state to state. In CA I believe there has been a wake up after that driver slaughtered all those people at the Santa Monica street market. It may be very hard to do, but I've found that making a big, nasty stink and keeping it up, can do wonders with bureaucrats.
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Dgoade, check back w/her doctor and see if she's done this. If she hasn't yet, and you want to move the process along, you can call the DMV Driver Safety Division and request the forms yourself. You may need your mother's driver's license number. The forms have a section for the driver to complete (or you can do it on behalf of your mother) and a section for the doc. I did it for my mother, and forwarded to the doctor along w/a pre-addressed envelope w/postage, just to make it easier.
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