I'm originally from India and mom lives in a senior center there. She has had diabetes for 10 years but is very lax about testing, eating the right foods and exercising. She rarely gets bloodwork done unless I throw a fit and fight with her.

I recently went to India to bring mom over here for a few months. We did bloodwork in India and her post-breakfast sugar level was 258. Mom hates being pricked and refused fasting testing. Now back in America, she will not let me prick her fingers with the at-home kit. Her view is, "If I am fated to die of diabetes, so be it. You can deal with it." She will not be careful for my sake, to see her grandkids get married etc.

Shes 82 now and I'm just tempted to drop the whole thing. I'm in touch with her Indian doctor if needed. Mom has dementia and I worry that diabetes will aggravate dementia. Is this true?

Thank you so much.

People with diabetes do get a little wonky when their levels are off. They can also go into a coma if not taking their meds. Sorry, can't tell u how to make her do what she doesn't want to.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29

Dementia and Diabetes...
Depending on how aware she is now she just may feel that she would rater die from the Diabetes rather than a lengthy decline with the dementia.
If this is the case this is her choice.
Neither is a good way to die.
You mention watching the grand kids get married..good possibility that she might not see that anyway. (If she is still alive, will she be aware of who is getting married or would she be well enough to attend a wedding)
She sounds like she is a candidate for Hospice. They may actually be able to talk to her about her choices. Talk to you about what will happen given the options.
To tell the truth I would probably do the same if I were in her place.
It is difficult to accept a choice like this. But keeping someone alive to keep them alive is selfish on our part if it is not the wish of the person. (that sounds much more harsh than I want it to be but I can not figure out how else to write it)
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Grandma1954
wren9184 Sep 4, 2018
No, no, she's ready not for hospice yet!!! She walks around in the house, helps in small chores, reads and watches TV, Her dramatic dialogues are just a way of talking fatalistically (many Indian parents do that).
I do agree with you that maybe subconsciously she feels she'd rather die from diabetes.......

Thank you
you know maybe she is doing this to get you to fuss over her my wife yelled at me all the time about my sugar told me I should not eat this or drink that. Than one day she said if this is what you want than so shell it be. You know I stopped doing the things she begged me to stop doing my sugar is down now but as long as she kept asking me I kept doing what she did not want me to do I really enjoyed her fussing over me. Until she stopped I realized she had enough
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to tegan1997

I'm sorry for your situation. My LO had Type 2 diabetes when she got dementia too. I would think that trying to manage your mother's diabetes from another country would be impractical. And expecting a person with dementia to manage their own diabetes care is quite unrealistic. But, the facility should be able to do that for her.

I would think that the facility where your mother is staying would be already ensuring she gets proper diet, daily monitor her blood sugar levels and administer her the daily medication. Is she back in India or here now?

I'm not sure if people are aware of this, but, uncontrolled high blood sugar levels create a higher risk of stroke and dementia. I'd discuss a plan for her care from now on with a medical professional, like a geriatric physician. You can inquire about the options and what her prognosis is.

My LO had very high blood sugar levels, when she was diagnosed, like what you describe, but, once she got on her pills (administered by MC staff), her levels came into a great range and have stayed there. Sadly, her dementia has continued and she is now end stage.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Sunnygirl1
wren9184 Sep 4, 2018
I'm sorry to hear about your LO.....sending you prayers.

Mom is with me right now. So Im trying to manage her diabetes. Mom's facility has only very basic medical care and patients have to manage their conditions on their own. The facility is a just place for seniors to live in each other's company and not be alone
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