My Mother (88) has dementia and does not want to eat and is very weak. Any suggestions?

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She was in old age home 60km from me and I went to fetch her 2 months ago and she is now in old age home in same town as me. She want to stay with me and everyday when I visit her she is askihg the same question over and over...but why can I not stay with you and why can't you get someone to look after me in your home. My mom did live with me for 5 years and I couldn't handle it mentally. I am feeling very quilty for not looking after her but I had to put my mom in old age home for my own insanity. She fights with me everytime I go to visit and I do not want to fight and be nasty to my mom. But what worries me is that she refuses to eat. I went to buy Ensure so that she can drink it to give her energy but she also do not want to drink it. Any suggustions. She is so weak because of not eating any veggies ext.

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My mom has just started not eating. She claims that she is not hungry. I'm worried about her, too. She even asked me to stop giving her meds to her. (Of course, I won't) I tell her that it is to keep her comfortable and she is okay with that, but doesn't want to take any that will prolong her life. She said she is ready to die. It breaks my heart, but I can understand. She is 90 and needs oxygen...needs a walker...can't hear well...can't see well...she doesn't understand TV any more. There is nothing left for her to do...she doesn't like music, or art. I wish I had some advice for you, but this is new for me, too. Hopefully, I will learn something that I can pass on here later...
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I feel your pain. we are taking care of my mother with that same disease. Do not feel guilty. It is normal for the disease, when they become angry and fight with you. It also is the number one question patients in a home ask - is to go home.
It is very difficult to be caring for someone and they fight (get angry, call you names, etc) I try not to take it personal, as it is the disease, and they do not realize what they are doing.
The home could try giving her tea or something with caffeine first, then feed her. That is how one of the home health nurses got my mom to eat. She can only eat little portions at a time. Some days doesnt eat much at all. My mom does not remember eating, and will tell us, "I have had nothing to eat today" even though we know she has eaten.
You are wonderful for going to get her, even though she is in a home, it is the best for her and you. I hope this helps
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