Mom is 95 and has dementia. I am her daughter 68 years old and have been with her, living with her, helping deal with issues for 15 years. She has had dementia about two years. She refused to use her walker and cane in the house and was a high fall risk. She wouldn’t listen to much of anything I would say because I am the daughter. She could walk upright, dress herself, and sponge bath herself. She has a little dog they are very close and she walks her and feeds her.
Her memory is going pretty good, sometimes has a hard time forming sentences, had anger issues from time to time. Someone was supposed to be with her all of the time, and I found that hard to do. I tried bringing in Caregiver’s a few times which really made her mad. I decided to place mom in a smaller group home where she could have better one on one attention. I got her there for lunch, with her dog and told her I’ve made arrangements for her to stay here where she can be taken care of better. If mom would’ve stayed home with me she would’ve ended up spending her last days in the hospital, I just know it.
Now when I go visit mom and her little dog, she tells me she hates me, cries the entire time, even hit me twice, swearing at me that I should be ashamed of myself. How could I do this to her, why can’t I go home, I want to go home and our visit is just horrific. I can’t take her anywhere because she will think she’s going home. So when I visit she cries and that’s all she talks about the entire time there’s no visiting or talking about anything but that. I tell her it’s because I love her and care about her that I placed her here. Of course she does not believe me, our visits are dreadful. Days before I visit her my stomach is in knots, it’s very depressing and I have such a sense of dread seeing her. I just don’t know what to do when she starts in with this behavior. When she sees me she gets so upset. My friend Told me to tell my mom please stop saying these things and if she continues tell her I’m sorry I have to leave. So virtually my visit would be in five minutes because she starts immediately with the why can I go home. It’s madness. Right now I see her once a week and that even makes me feel a lot of anxiety days before I just don’t know what to do. Seeing me upset her so much. Do I wait a while, or get up and leave when she acts out ? I just don’t know what to do anymore and get very depressed about it all.