she totaled her car..no one hurt...helped her get a brand new car...now is mad because car is black and "depressing" and is trying to get dealership to change it to a red car even though she does not have the financial resources.
If this is out of the ordinary behavior, then she needs to be seen by a doctor. If this is normal behavior but more amplified, then I wouldn't rule out some sort of dementia, even though you have your doubts.
Just because you don't see dementia, doesn't mean it isn't on its way. Dementia can take several different routes. She might also be experiencing some discomfort or anxiety that she doesn't even realize or can't explain to you.
Talk to her doctor or take her to see a gerontologist for more information.
One of the earliest signs of dementia in my grandmother (now 85) was self-centred, insensitive behaviour. It started about 10 years ago, just when I was at an age (35) to get to know her as a person. So I really didn't like her for a while. Once the memory issues became apparent, it started to make more sense. Her personality has continued to change in various ways.
So, I think a checkup for your mother is in order.
Talk to her doctor or take her to see a gerontologist for more information.
So, I think a checkup for your mother is in order.