I've been a nurse for 28 years. I worked up to December 2015. I was out for a week after having trigger finger. Surgery. I hated my job. I hated nursing after taking care of my mom for all those years. When my daughter got out of diapers, my mom needed diaper/depends. I've been overwhelmingly depressed. After I returned to work after my trigger thumb surgery, I showed my "return" to work note to the 2 assistant nurse supervisors. They thought I didn't appear "right". I was escorted to human resource, had to give a breathalyzer and urine drug screen panel. That was october 3rd 2015. My Dad became very ill and needed to be hospitalized 10/6 and was discharged 10/8. I hadn't really slept that weekend. My work called and said my drug/breathyzer were fine. They would let me come back to work after I had a psych evaluation. I did that 10/10/2015. The psych evaluation cleared me and said I was fit to go back to work. My boss called me later asking me if I wanted to return to week the following Monday. But after my dads illness I was on FMLA until December 2015. I couldn't go back. I never will know exactly what was said or observed to make others believe me to be "impaired". I got a job May 2016 as a clinical nurse educator. It was a contract job and I was chosen to go around the country to various surgical settings in the United States. I had one week of training, and then went into a hospital to educate fellow surgical members on a new device. I loved that and that was from 9/19-23 2016. My next assignment was scheduled 10/2-10/7. And then 10/10-14. On 9/30/2916 I was called telling me I did something said something against my contract and they were cancelling my contract. Again, don't know what I did or said. I feel like I'm living in a body with no meaning or purpose. I think I'm a waste of space. I'm not actively suicidal but I want to die.