Mom's depressed and won't do anything constructive to try to help herself. Suggestions? - AgingCare.com

Mom's depressed and won't do anything constructive to try to help herself. Suggestions?

Follow
Share

1. she has a lot of help but complains about not being independent cause she doesn't see well due to serious eye condition
2. upset about husband's health deterioration and 24-hour care
3. feels like world is on her shoulders (I handle all the financial household respons)
4. used to wealthy life, parties and travel/it has all stopped

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
16

Answers

Show:
Depression does rob you of the energy to see beyond any real obstacle to acheive a goal, and tends to make fake ones pop up too. It may be more can't than won't. Consider doing the first steps of organizing the outing or the sewing class if you can spare the time and energy instead of waiting for depression to go away. Sometimes it does, even without meds, other times not and people just go on being sad and shy and not enjoying life until they die, or worse, cranky, nasty, and irritable until they drive everyone away, which only increases the depression.
If you ever watched the movie "Ordinary People" there is a perfect description of depression in there - it is a big dark hole that keeps getting bigger and deeper until finally you ARE the hole. You don't feel worthy of help or happiness and it takes a small mircale to start turning things around. Nothing is enjoyable. Effort seems futile even if you coudl find the energy to make an effort. Organizing and planning are out of the question. Sometimes a little medication is that small miracle, sometimes it is physical activity, a renewed purpose in life, a puppy or a kitten, or some sunshine and vitamin D.

Original poster's mom has has a LOT of losses, and it is harder but not impossible to find low vision/blind rehab and technology to help older adults so that should be a consideration as well. See if Lion's World has anything and there is a home study program. I can't find it right of the bat, but there may be more via www.afb.org/directory/profile/vision-rehabilitation-services/12

Services for Seniors
VRS provides clients with a comprehensive Low Vision Evaluation that is conducted by a Low Vision Specialist, an optometrist who is trained in the field of low vision. After a thorough review of the client's medical and vision histories, the Low Vision Specialist conducts an evaluation of the functionality of the client's vision. Devices such as magnifiers, bioptic spectacles, high powered reading glasses, telescopic lenses, glare control tinted glasses and technology equipment may be recommended. The optometrist then determines the need for other services in addition to training the client on the use of the device(s). Rehabilitation training, Orientation and Mobility, and Access Technology and computer training may be included. Certified instructors work with the clients based on an individualized plan.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My mil is 70. No major health issues, and still drives. She has no stressors or responsibilities what so ever but still chooses to sit in her room all day looking sad and depressed. I have went to her on numerous occasions just to find out what she likes to do so she can have something to do. She did tell me she always liked to sew and wanted to teach others to do so. I supported and encouraged her on this. Days turned to weeks to months and now a year later, I asked her, what was holding up her from her sewing activity and she had no real answer. I am really at my wits end with this woman. I honestly feel like she is just lazy, wants pity and is straight up miserable. I have spoke to my husband about it and his response is, she has to want to do it. That's just it, she needs to want to do it and do it. I am really starting to resent her. Any suggestions??
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Oh my goodness - please only seek help for your mother from clinicians/healthcare people who will support her with therapies and particularly medications that are "evidence based" in medical and scientific terms. A huge number of hospitalisations (beyond belief) are caused by medication events and often due to over the counter/alternative therapies that either stuff with their medications or dont do the job. I speak from experience. Your mother is depressed - she needs to see a professional and clinically trained person who deals with depression in older people - yes grief BUT in older people the grief can be complicated. For older people there is never just one thing but a number of medical issues - dont muck around. Get good clinical advice.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

jillpamela2539, so glad to hear the posts here have been helpful. Bringing goodness into someone's life can only help increase your joy. Much encouragement & support to you!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you Jill for your acknowledgement. More feedback is always helpful to the body is responders.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Also if you google "seasonal affective disorder lamp Medicare" you will get information on a SAD lamp that Medicare approves for depression. Certain light waves, especially and overcast areas or with short winters, can greatly improve mood.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Try taking her out in the sun for 20-30 minutes every day, when the sun is not too intense. Folks of all kinds enjoy being out in the sun, as it really lifts one's spirits. In addition, she will get Vitamin D which several of the other post's recommended. Also, plants in the house can really pep things up, as there is something appealing about seeing a lot of plants, especially the dark green ones.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Got wonderful advice from all. Thank you so much. Love, jill
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Great ideas:

Vitamin D - (should use D3, l take 8000 I.U. daily)

Omega-3s - (better from Krill Oil instead Fish Oil, works the same, usually no fishy taste, burpless and SOURCE is Sustainably Harvested)

Coconut Oil - (1 tsp 3 x per day)

Check out SAMe, very powerful natural aid for depression, among many other health concerns.

I get most of my nutritional supplements online from Swanson Vitamins.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I have been reading fantastic things about coconut oil as well. We just started using it. Very easy to get into him as it can be used in cooking and tastes good. His doctor started him on a food supplement/vitamin two months ago that has been a MAJOR help Cerefolin NAC, which also helps with early dementia symptoms. It is by prescription only and is pricy at the drugstore, but you can get it direct from the manufacturer (with script) at 1/3 the cost ...about $40 a month delivered. So far I have been very impressed with this and am trying to get my father to take it as well as FIL.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions