Mom with dementia talks about wanting to move constantly. Any ideas to deal with this?

Follow
Share

I have had my mother since December in my home. She has moderate dementia. She asks me every single day if anyone is going to town,as she thinks she is going to move back to where she last lived. Before we caught on that she had dementia, she had moved 6 times in 4 years. Its driving me insane....She somehow thinks she will get better if she moves. There is no assisted living there or I would send her. Can you give me any ideas? Its maddening some days when she asks me 5 times.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
14

Answers

Show:
People with dementia from conditions such as Alzheimer’s and related diseases have a progressive brain disorder that makes it more and more difficult for them to remember things.
here some useful tips:
Get the person’s attention.
Set a positive mood for interaction.
When the going gets tough, distract and redirect.
Remember the good old days.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My mom asks to go home all the time, I tell her we are working on it and change the subject.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

For many people, as the dementia advances, they do become more content.

All you can do is to be real demonstrative with her - Hugs, smiles, I love you - so that she will know that you will care for her. She's unhappy because of her age and losses. You can't fix that. You can agree with her if she says her life isn't so great. "Yes, I wish you were young again, and we all lived together in the old house. It's sad now, and your friends aren't around." God bless you. You have a good heart.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Spooky 62, my mother has burned all her bridges except me and my sister for short visits. She moved in 2006, 2007, twice in 2008, and now back here - her only place. A doctor told her one that "happiness is not a place". MOM is not a happy person and never really has been unless she was the center of attraction. She only has me now, and I'm plum out of admiration and constant attention giving. I wish she lived somewhere else. Maybe I'd be glad to see her. I am not. Sad, but I've had it. I tell her that she has no where else to go now. She's run out of people's lives to ruin (I don't really say that I part, I just think it). She really has left hard feelings wherever she went and made my daughter and husband lose their home by bailing out on them after promising to pay rent to them every month so they get a house they didn't need just because it had an apartment for her. I could go on and on. This probably didn't help, but maybe there's something in this mess that can help. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mom does have her own room,and bathroom.Unfortunately,I half to walk a long ways to the bathroom now.We gave her the good one,and moved into another room.Now all this is not ideal.My hubby has had prostate cancer surgery and we are a long ways from the other bathroom.She has her own tv and cable,too.She shops with my sister to give me a break once a week.That helps.She looks at her pictures and old papers from grammar/high school.I just wish I could make her happier.:(Can't seem to get there.Thank you for all your help!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

She is looking for her "happy place". Dig out some old pictures or movies if you have them. Memories of a better time work well.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sounds like your mom is trying to get back to the "good times". It's common with people who have mental impairness and have lost their independance, their inability to just get up and go when and where they want. I know I'd want to go back to happier times.

Telling your mom how much you need her there with you was good advice. Also, try not to hover and do everything for you mom while she's at your house. Play down those things that you must do, like help her with her meds, help her bath, etc.

You might also give her some household chores she can do. The idea is to incorporate her into the family. Ask her advice on things, give her a list of things she can pick up for you when you take her to the grocery store (things you can do without if she forget to get a few things on the list). Ask her to help you fix dinner, do some laundry, etc. Make sure she has her own room with her own TV and even a little fridge and a microwave if there's room. If you have two bathrooms, make one of them her's alone. Let her have as much independence as she can have at your house. Hopefully steps such as these and time will work in your favor and mom will settle in and come to feel as if this is her home too, and that she's not just visiting.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My mother has been living with me and keeps on saying she must leave and go somewhere else, she has moderate dementia. The scary thing is that she tells people, like my siblings, how miserable she is and they believe her and tell her she must get out. They even suggested she call elder abuse hotline even though she has nothing concrete to complain about, it is her mental and physical suffering she wants to leave. The only thing you can do is try to involve her in some socialization or activities such as in a senior center or elder day care program or get her something to get attached to, like a small pet or plants to take care of. Involve her in your social life when you can (helping you prepare for a dinner and sitting down with guests). Do yoga or chair exercises with her. That way she will feel more at home. Best wishes.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

She is probably afraid because she doesn't really know where she lives any more. She thinks she will feel better somewhere else. Maybe if you ask her if she can stay with you for a few more days, and give her some reason, she might settle in and feel more comfortable. Sometimes you need to guess at the emotion underneath, and ignore the words.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Just try to reassure her that you want her living with you..Mom I would be lonely without you etc.. It also sounds like she has anxiety issues and maybe her Dr could prescribe something for her... Good luck!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.