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What do i do to get her to get a diagnosis? My mother fired her doctors who mention this horrible desease. She stopped all meds except pain pills and sleeping pills. I cant take her extreme anger and hostelity .towards mE .She broke her neck in 3. places. She abused me, stole from me, etc..etc.. Miss handling money, not bathing or clean when useing b...rm. repeats questions, paranoia of me. She has beat me down so bad i let me lose myself mentially, physical and spiritually. Im about to lose my marriage, and 26 yrs soberity.
She has 3 dogs and alot of cats defaceating all over. Garage full of trash, so bad the house smells, nats,flies, roaches. I had alz.org call Adult protective services on her. The last day they brought doctor out. She just happened to remember
The list he gave her. Adult service says there is nothing they can to do or I can do. She in her legal rights to refuse medical treatment.... Grieving and relapsing daughter dispreiate.! How do i get a diagnosis and help? Plus she is lieing constinetly about burial, life even property insurance.

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LETNEY0119 - accept that none of this is your fault or your fixing. Somebody else will have to step in and do the big rescue if it's even possible.

Rescue yourself and don't worry about mom. At all. Really. Give her up to the universe and remove yourself from all of it. Let the angels have her to look over.

What you want for your mom and what is possible may be two completely different things that will never overlap no matter how much of yourself you pour into it. Stop having expectations for her and yourself about her health, her care, and her future.

Take care of you, your family, and your future.
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I am in the process of starting couseling for my self...I M WANTING TO get uder a doctors care for a diagnosis, after that I gone.. so much pain from her.
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Everything you have tried so far is not working. Relapsing on your sobriety and.or losing your marriage would not work.

APS is right. You are not going to be able to force her to change.

It is very, very hard to watch a loved one with self-destructive behavior. I am so sorry for you.

What is best now is to save yourself. Have you been in counseling lately?
If so, go back. If not, please consider it. You are faced with something very traumatic and difficult. You deserve any support your can get.
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Dementia drugs don't really help too much in my case, but something else may help her. Dont argue, you are fueling the fire. Back Off like Pam suggests....
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When you visit her, ask her if she needs "this". If she doesn't need this, throw it on the way out.
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HOw old is she? You may want to get her Meals on wheels for a bit.. Adult day care/ can she go to adult day care while you clean the garage or hire someone to do that?
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So you back off. Like Al-Anon says , you let go and let god. Whether a person is mentally compromised by alcohol or old age, you accept that you cannot change them. If you are living in her house, you move out.
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