My mum has deliberately made herself homeless so she can move in with me. Advice?

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My mum is in her 70's and has always suffered from Social Anxiety Disorder which she has refused to take medication for. Caring for her made my Dad ill and she has tried all her life to cause rifts between my sisters and myself which then led to her trying to cause rifts between her grand-children. She has recently sold her house whilst refusing to look for a property to move into with the intention of moving in with my sister or myself. Both our partners have threatened to move out if she moves in. Mum gets on with no one and causes chaos wherever she goes with her lack of understanding of the real world. In ten days she will be homeless and refuses to look at rental properties saying she expects to move in with either myself or my sister. I know I can contact Social Services but while she can still pass an Alzeimers test they will say she is free to do what she chooses and we can't interfere. HELP my sister and I have been so ill this past year just dealing with her and the thought of her moving in our households and the effect on our families is catastrophic.

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Don't let her move in with you. Say no.
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Here's another thread along the same topic. Read it and the responses from the females in the community who are around your mom's age:

https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/helping-homeless-mother-154195.htm

Don't let her move in with you! She's made her choices (sold her home, refuses to take prescribed medications) now she has to live with them. If you enable her by letting her move in with you, you're encouraging her bad decisions. Stay strong and say no!
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I agree with what Jeanne just said. You and your sister can look at some senior housing facilities and find one you think fits your mother's needs. Your husbands have said no, which counts more than your mother's saying yes. I hope you can find a senior community that is perfect for her. What Jeanne wrote about finding one she can grow with would be ideal if you can find one she can afford. Much luck! It can be hurtful when it is our family, but you shouldn't have been put in this position.

Many of us here in the group have our parents living with us. It is probably the reason we are in the group -- looking for emotional help. From what I've seen of the outside world, most parents do not live with their children as they grow older. They live in their homes or in a senior community/facility. I think it actually helps the family in their feelings toward each other. A little distance can make the heart fonder at times. So don't feel guilty about saying no. Just help her find a good place and help her get settled in.
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Call Social Services. You are probably right that they cannot force her to arrange housing for herself, but they can explain her options. Maybe that step will help emphasize your decision that she cannot move in with you.

My advice to you and your sister is to stay strong and keep saying no.

Since your mother has just sold her house, she has cash. She can stay in a motel until she finds a more permanent arrangement. Don't let anyone talk you into taking her in "temporarily."

If you feel that she has beginning stage dementia, it would be ideal if she could live in a continuous care community. The time will probably come when she cannot live independently, and it would be ideal if she could then get more care in the same community.

But I realize you have little influence in her finding the "ideal" housing situation. Your first need is to see that she does not move in with you. Stay strong. Say No.
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