My mom is 6 mos post hip replacement, and her recovery has been slow at best. She has been told by surgeon, physical therapist, nurses, etc. that she NEEDS to stand up every hour, NEEDS to make more of an effort to walk with her walker, etc. yet she sits in her recliner all day long. The closest she gets to walking on her own (even if I offer to follow her..she always refuses or makes an excuse why she "can't" right now) is transferring from chair to wheelchair. When the therapist is here, she complains about not being able to do what they're asking her to do, but the PT says she can and she makes her walk the hallway and back and she does it (LOVING this PT!)! There is no good reason my mom CAN'T walk again, nor should she still be wheelchair bound, due to anything other than her lack of compliance and motivation to do the prescribed exercises in between PT visits ("I'm not an exercise person"). If I suggest she do them/walk/etc. I get snapped at, so I basically told her it's all up to her & left it in her lap.
Enter karma. The past few days we noticed her right leg was a lot more swollen than the left, so the home nurse told us to go to her primary dr. & be evaluated. He sent us for an ultrasound of the leg, which revealed a DVT that runs the length of her thigh. From there, we were sent to the ER and she was admitted last night. My Mom, upon hearing what she had, couldn't understand why this has happened! We've all told her the past few months that if she didn't get busy and MOVE that this could happen, along with her muscles atrophying further, etc. It's as if she doesn't "get" that her behaviors are a direct cause to a majority of the issues she is facing - she just complains that now she's got "one more thing" to deal with... "if it's not one thing, it's another..." as if these events are being cast upon her instead of caused by her actions (or non-actions). The "oh poor me" attitude is wearing reeeeally thin.
So at this point, the hospital is starting her on anticoagulant therapy, and may be inserting a filter into one of the veins in case the clot breaks off & becomes an embolism. Not sure how long she will be in the hospital, but to be honest I am grateful for the breather. Part of me hopes they will send her to a SNF afterwards for in-house physical therapy, and depending on her progress there we can decide whether she should even come home again or not. I just can't continue to care for someone who won't help themself get better, and then drags the entire household down with her attitude.
Of course the "good daughter" in me feels guilty for thinking this way, and I know NONE of this is my fault and I can't fix someone that doesn't want to be fixed, etc. - I KNOW all of this in my head...I know I have NOTHING to feel guilty for, so why do I feel this way??? The neverending question....