Doctors are willing/encouraging to deem mom as incompetent which would kick in my Medical POA on her. What happens next? - AgingCare.com

Doctors are willing/encouraging to deem mom as incompetent which would kick in my Medical POA on her. What happens next?

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We're in Wisconsin. My mom's husband is a drunken jackass who could care less about her care (I take care of mom on weekend's and run here and there during the wk but it's about 35 minutes away). He won't disclose his assets so that we can move to the next level of qualifying her for Medicaid, and he had her sign a pre-nup (what's yours is yours, mine is mine...which is fine....) BUT he had buried within it that he would not be responsible for any medical bills, NH care etc. Mom is naieve and didn't see that...now 20 yrs later, she has early to mid stage Dementia. 1) Can the county remove her from home if they feel she's getting neglected care from him? (she falls, he's too drunk to pick her up..i have a lot of mid night runs...gets exhausting). 2) She should be in a NH or some assisted care living, she has no money (he does) and she can't qualify because of him not cooperating. Suggestions? I have a helper who comes in twice weekly to assist me with cleaning/bathing...we can't afford more. We've (my sis and I) exahusted calling all agencies and channels for the "next step"

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This is tricky since she has a living spouse. I would call an attorney who specializes in elder care in the area. They will usually give you a free quick consult over the phone and tell you your options and what is involved.

You need someone to review your POA and hopefully it is medical & financial so you can move forward without spousal interference.

Next make sure you have a care plan and understand all the skills and responsibilities for moms care. Are you capable and willing? How does it impact family? What kind of financial support will your mom require now and in the future? Her assets, SS, insurance, car, etc.

Sounds like a tricky road, bless you and good luck.
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