My mother, in her mid 70s with signs of dementia/mental illness/paranoia/narcissism has cut me out of her life.
Last week I received a letter from her telling me not to contact her anymore. She's changed her locks, taken my name off her bank account, and so on. She's cut off contact with her whole family, starting with her brother more than 20 years ago, and now it's ended with me.
In the letter she wrote she accused me and my husband of stealing, and says she has her neighbors watching out for our cars, and she'll call the cops if she sees us around. (She's long thought neighbors are prostitutes, thieves, drug dealers, etc., and now we're criminals in her mind.) She accused us of stealing from her. She says I was probably on strong drugs in college and now am brain damaged from it. She also says I'm probably on drugs now. (In college I smoked the odd joint and drank a lot of beer, like a lot of people. I rarely drink now, and I don't do drugs. Never mind that she smoked a lot of weed when I was a kid and teen, and did stronger drugs, too, and drank a 12-pack a day for many years.) She says I beat her up. (I didn't; once we got into an argument at a rest stop and she threatened to go walk into highway traffic, and I grabbed her arm and pulled her back, and she turned the memory into me beating her up in a rest area.)
Thing is, I don't know what to do. She is sane enough to pay her bills on time, etc. She can't drive but she gets neighbors to take her shopping or to the doctor.
On one hand, some people tell me to get a lawyer and apply for guardian status. Others tell me to call Adult Protective Services. Others tell me to ignore her.
I'm inclined to do the latter. I know she's mentally ill (for starters), but I can't get her doctor to back me, and she's crafty enough to test well when under scrutiny. Is it irresponsible of me to just let things go? I'm tired of arguing, and I'm tired of abuse -- every time she doesn't get her way I end up being belittled and insulted. After 40 years of being belittled, insulted, mocked, expected to be someone's personal driver/assistant/secretary/whipping post, I've had enough and want to walk away. I do love her and worry about her health, but if I am perceived as the enemy what can I do?