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Not been in other 2 sisters homes in 8 years, never seen their grandchildren know my children, We travelled camped had bbqs etc and her and I had a great time. we barely even disagreed. h*ll then took over, she was in a hospice at 84 dying of cancer, loved my other sisters, cant stand me. she once asked me to call my sister toi come and make me leave her bedside. on heavy doses of morphine etc. told me I never looked after her which I did and slept on my couch for several months. I was always there for her and was dismissed. if I told her I loved her she turned her face away and would not speak. my kids were the only ones who came to visit her and she loved that. even her great grandchild (6 yr girl) loved her and cried at home and also wanted to come to the funeral. what did I do so wrong to be so chastised and felt like idont belong here. I have so much sorrow in my heart because of this. Can anybody tell me why did she reject me . I cry every day because I miss her so much, so much, so much.

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My father said crazy things toward the end of his life and we found out later that he was suffering from " white matter disease" that had an impact on his thinking. Having been through cancer and treatment with a friend I have also seen the changes that this causes. You know your mother loved you and your children. The illness rob you of this thought at the end but it was true and still is.
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Just as with a child, you wouldn't take them seriously, if they said they hated you. It is the same with the elderly.
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Jeanne, "great minds" and all that stuff! I feel validated by knowing that you were thinking the same thing!
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It was the cancer, the pain, and the morphine talking. She loved you very much. When my dad was dying he made some hurtful comments to me and I was so shocked. We had always been so close and my mind was telling me it wasn't really him talking but my heart felt differently. He's gone now and I don't focus on that stuff anymore, I just remember that he loved me and I loved him very much.

Our elderly parents aren't themselves toward the end. Your mom might have lashed out at you because she felt closest to you and safe enough with you. Our parents often reserve their negativity and/or bad moods for us and us only because they know we're always going to be there no matter what.

Did your mom die recently? If so, try to remember the good times you had with her and don't focus too much on the end. Easier said than done, I know, but as times goes by it'll be easier.
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GardenArtist, you and I were typing at the same time. We seem to have had the same thought!
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Just a theory ... because she was closest to you, it might have been most painful for her to know she was leaving you. Perhaps hearing you say I love you and knowing it was true filled her with anguish over leaving you and your children and grandchild. Perhaps she thought it would be easier if one of the daughters she was less close to was there. Of course, in her right mind, she would never have given you the great sorrow of "rejecting" you. Can you forgive her for the behavior she probably had no control over?

Peace and healing to you.
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You were close for so many years - it must have been very hard for her to know that you were seeing her slip away. And people feel self conscious when they're so vulnerable, losing so much control over their life, and don't want loved ones to see them that way. Perhaps she was pushing you away so you wouldn't see her suffer.
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Kahune, my sincere condolences on the death of your beloved mother. Did she die recently?

Of course you looked after her. Deep in her consciousness she knew that, knew that she was loved, and loved you. The pain and the morphine confused her. She was not "in her right mind" when she said those things to you.

The sorrow over your mother's passing is appropriate. You will never "get over it" but you will heal in time and be able to think more often of the good times than of the loss. But I hope you can let go now of the sorrow over things your mother said when she was not herself. That is certainly not how she would want you to remember her.
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Seeher essence and lifein your kids and grandkids. Focus on them...Yu need them NOW.... they in turn need you.
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She was closest to you... It was the cancer....Cancer spreads throughout the body. Know she loved you to the end. It is hard to let your loved ones go. It was hard for her too... Do not question it. You were there, she knows it. You know it. She doesn't hate you, never had, never will have anything but LOVE for you..... Talk to her NOW, she hears, and will answer you in the other life.... My dad did, in all ways... He was not a believer in afterlife. He is now. Messages for a long time after he passed over....
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