Mom is in rehabilitation and constantly saying "I want to go home". Any advice to comfort her? - AgingCare.com

Mom is in rehabilitation and constantly saying "I want to go home". Any advice to comfort her?

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Mom constantly saying "I want to go home". I explain to her that she needs to get strong before she goes home. But in reality she is not going home. Any advice on what else to say to help comfort her?

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Thank you so much for your shared thoughts. Things seem to be getting worse. Aside from her wanting to go home, her dementia has excelled and caused her to revert back to her stronger days. She's very weak and needs lots of help with walking that's why she's in Rehab to get strong. Well in her mind there's nothing wrong with her and today she fell getting out of bed, big bump on forehead and a gash on her nose. The Rehabilitation center is a 24/7 facility but they will not sit one on one with them, which we totally understand. My heart breaks for my mom especially cause she doesn't know what is happening. The dementia is what's causing all this to happen. It's sad to say but now I understand why some people with this condition get medicated, to prevent them from hurting themselves. Tomorrow I will talk to doctor and see what other options there are for her. Keep us in your prayers. Thank you again for your support.
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Gloria, when my Mom was in long-term-care and rehab, she also kept saying she wanted to go home.   It took me awhile to realize it wasn't the home that she had recently shared with my Dad, but it was the childhood home where she was born.   There were things she said that finally clued me in, such as she was asking to go see her sisters [all of whom had passed].

I found "maybe we can go tomorrow" was a good answer for her, because after awhile my Mom would forget she had even asked.
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Poor Mom. Poor Caregiver. This is really a toughie, isn't it? I don't have any magic answers, but I do send sympathy.

Early in his dementia my husband, Coy, wanted to go home. He'd pack a little bag and stand by the door. But he WAS home -- a place we'd lived in for 20 years! The desire to "go home" is sometimes a longing to be where the world makes sense, where they are independent, before the dementia spoiled things.

Your mom may literally want to go back to her house. Or she may be expressing her dissatisfaction with the way things are for her. Or some of each. But even if you could beam her up and get her home, she still might want to "go home."

I think maybe I'd start saying leave here instead of go home: "You need to get strong before you leave here. This is the best place for you to be right now."

I didn't solve this issue for Coy. Fortunately time did. That behavior stopped after several weeks.

I do have this advice for you Gloria: Do not feel guilty about this. Your mom IS in the best place for her. That she needs rehab is Not Your Fault. That she needs to be in a safe environment where skilled people can care for her is Not Your Fault. You are doing your best for her. No guilt applies!
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