She did recognize me. She said she was getting married to an old boyfriend...he is dead long ago...she was insistent...this was shocking to me...I feel I have lost my mom and I need to study up on dementia to learn how to deal with this new turn of events..I am running out of energy since this has gone on for many months now but the dementia is new...I am so tired...any suggestions?

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It sounds like the beginning of dementia. The best advice I can give you:if you are in a state where medical marijuana is available, you should learn as much as possible about using it for dementia. I personally know of situation where the prescription dugs didn't help and certain types gave very bad results. Then the family researched and now use medical marijuana nectars/tinctures/extracts with really good results. Excellent mental clarity once they were able to ascertain proper dosage and time scheduling. For anxiety, they combine it with valerian root extract(necessary to study about it as well and determine minimal usage for effectiveness. Also study on the nutritional needs of the brain: especially using median chain triglyceride sources such as organic raw coconut oil; omega3 fatty acids, avocados, eggs for biotin and b-12 (they use boiled eggs 1or 2 daily). Also learn what foods to avoid. Some doctors are saying that chronic dehydration can cause it. High quality cod liver oil every day....vitamin D in adequate but safe amounts much above RDA. The nutritional aspect is vital. Until you do your research, you may be interested in a product called Tranquinol,a dietary supplement (neurotransmitter balance for healthy mood, relaxation and deep restful sleep) ...available from dr. Bob Marshall in Texas or Premier Center/Nutrient Research in Santa Monica, California. they also sell high quality organic raw coconut oil and raw honey which should replace use of any white sugar. Both have web sites. If you even think about prescription medicine do your research and also look for experiences of those who have/are using them. Also on you tube there are videos about a doctor whose husband had severe problems which were resolved with the Use of median chain triglycerides. They may also be supporting the use of a specific demential prescription drug, but I would not recommend that path. It's about researching what is best and most natural that works. Focus on what the brain needs and has no t been. Getting in proper amounts and what it may be getting that's not good for it.
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This happened to my mom. At first, incidents were minor and I attributed to confusion. I was in denial. They became more elaborate. I documented over a period of time and sent to her dr ahead of an appt. Scheduled a full med exam where she did remarkably well on drs standard questions but when he questioned her about a couple "fantasy incidents" she talked to him like they were still true and he could tell they weren't . He diagnosed early dementia (as she is in good health and very functional) and referred her for a neurological work up with elder mental assessment. Together they diagnosed early to mild dementia.

This was 18 months ago. My point is, educate yourself, read The Departure Zone. Watch you tube Teepa Snow. These will help.

I would hAve her evaluated by her physician. Go ahead and send him a confidential note ahead of time outlining your observations and concerns so he has a heads up.

Don't panic, it's not an on off switch. Mild dementia stage could go on for awhile. But it doesn't get better so prepare yourself and start having important conversations with mom about preparing for the future and her future care needs. DON'T PROMISE TO BE HER PRIMARY CAREGIVER, or that she can always stay in her house, etc. until you spend more time on this site and fully understand what you are getting into.

My mom is 90 and still lives independently. Sometimes when she is very tired, she confuses more easily or confuses what she reads or hears on tv with real life. She recognizes me but there were a couple times when she didn't and it was scary. I was patient and she came around. She had been in a very deep sleep and hadn't eaten well for a few days so was week. Once she got nourished and rested she was fine but had awareness that she was "losing her mind" and was frightened.

When you educate yourself and have mom evaluated, you will know what you are dealing with better. Visit some local care facilities with mom, and have the frank conversations necessary. You will feel like you have some control going forward. Call your local center for aging and senior center and explore resources available so you can prepare.

I didn't have the frank conversations I should have ahead of time. I thought I had time and then crisis hit and now I have a complicated mess...Mom has dug in heels and there will come a time when she has to move and it will not be pleasant for either of us because she flatly refuses any care or assistance. I also live long distance.

I hope my experience will help you.
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Some acute illnesses, infections, and/or medications can cause hallucinations and delusions, and it oculd be at least partly reversible - UTI is a common culprit. But just recognizing you does not mean she does *not* have dementia. Now, Mom is at least temporarily confused, but she is still Mom - you have not *entirely* lost her because of this, as shocking as it is. You say it has gone on for some times now, and I'll bet you have already been taking the steps of getting POAs and arranging supervision...
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Get her evaluated as soon as possible! My mom has dementia and often tells me about boyfriends she has and how she's planning her wedding. So unless your mom is on any prescription medications that would make her hallucinate, I'd work to get her to the doctor.

Also, if you notice your mom is depressed, withdrawn, repeating herself, hording, dressing in uncharacteristic ways, not bathing, not taking care of her home, or putting household items in strange places, I'd be concerned that she might have dementia.

You might try having her evaluated by a doctor specializing in dementia and other diseases related to cognitive impairment. Even getting her to a GP would help you start the process of evaluation/diagnosis. It may turn out to be a problem that is treatable and unrelated to progressive memory loss.
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