My mother was living in a tiny shoebox of an apartment in Gilmer, TX. Every time I went over there she was locked up with windows drawn and very out of it. I bought a house with a beautiful back yard, and gave her a room and offered her another for the other stuff that wouldn't fit...and her own bathroom.
At first, she would sit on the patio and seemed happy. Now, everything is horrible and Gilmer was a paradise second only to Heaven, she was surrounded by friends over there and the traffic was wonderful and the library was perfect and the drug store was just the most friendly place she had ever been, everyone just stopped in their tracks and celebrated her arrival with flower petals and music (ok, a little sarcastic there) but I am about to scream.
and any attempt or suggestion from me is met with "oh I am such a martyr, you're cruel to me"
this weekend we have made arrangements to go visit an old friend in Dallas, a two hour drive away, my brother has gotten us a room in a nice hotel, she hasn't been in contact with this woman in a decade and she was sooooo excited that she said she was gonna drive herself up there! Now, three days before the trip is planned she comes slinking in with that 'oh poor pitiful me' attitude and wants to know if it 'would be rude' to cancel the trip....because it might rain. So now, if I push for her to go, and God forbid it rains, it'll be my fault...and if we go and it doesn't rain, well, she won't have fun and it'll be my fault.
I can't win.
She got a piece of junk mail that is trying to sell her an extended warranty for her twenty year old car, and so today she's going to the bank to cancel her car insurance and get that instead...and she screamed at me when I tried to tell her it wasn't insurance at all...just a rip off. See, I am untrustworthy and stupid. I couldn't possibly be competent enough to know a scam. And I understand that she is frustrated SHE can't see a scam anymore and they prey on old people because of it...but it hurts that she flat does not trust me or think me competent.