My mom was diagnosed with cardiac dementia the middle of May this year. I am her only child so everything falls on me. My hubby is very supportive, but has his own issues with his mom, but that is another story altogether.
She keeps calling and telling me that Sue yes thats me has been there for lunch spent the night, dinner, whatever and left without saying goodbye. Is what am doing the right thing? she usually is near tears at this time. I usually go along with what she is saying and tell her I will talk to her about it. This is the advice I have read on this website.
Is this the right thing to be doing? She knows who I am when Im there but still brings up Sue as little girl. I always tell her Im taking care of her and yes school is fine but is there anything else I can do?

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doodlinmama, sounds like it is time for your Mother to get medicine to calm her down. I know that some meds can zone out a person, but it is better than her becoming physical with you, or with a Staff person or heaven forbid another resident.

I know it is sad to see one's parent act that way. But we have no control over how their mind is now thinking. Maybe it is time to stop visiting for awhile as it seems to just get her upset and you even more upset because we can't understand why our parent is acting that way.
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went to visit mom last night. she was agitated and decided she was leaving the facility. oh yeah, she was wearing a sleeveless shirt, boxer shorts and slippers. I tried to get her to go back to her room so she hit me with her walker and pushed me. got her to turn around and she headed for another part of the rehab building. when she realized she couldn't get out that was she hit me with her walker, slapped my face then proceeded to choke me. finally the staff came over. she yelled at me to get out and never come back again and that she was no longer my concern. I am so hurt and frustrated. the bruise on my neck is not helping my state of mind. so now what do I do?
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Well, you are not going to convince her that Sue did say goodbye or wasn't there or that you are Sue. So what are the other choices?

The situation is sad. What you are doing is the least frustrating for both of you and the kindest for Mom.
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so sorry. forgot the important parts. Mom was staying with my aunt and uncle, no actual blood family but mom and auntie have been best friends since grade school. She had been living there for about 10 years. She is on permanent disability and only gets $990 a month so it was a win-win for everyone. My aunt called and told me she was having delusions. So I went and got her and made her go to the hospital. it took four days for them to figure out what the problem was. Too many small heart attacks caused her dementia. The hospital sent her to a rehab facility as she is a fall risk and had broken her arm in December. She is till there at the rehab until the Waiver kicks in so at least she is not home with me. I go see her Monday nights after work for about an hour and Friday afternoon we go to lunch and the store for snacks. About a three to four hour day.
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Sue, you are doing the right thing by going along with Mom's "stories".

It took me time to learn not to correct my Dad whenever his mind was out in the weeds. Then I realized by correcting him it made him feel more confused and me upset. By agreeing was a win-win situation.

My I ask if your Mom is living on her own, or does she have caregivers that come in to help? Or are you helping her frequently and spending the night? One will need to plan for the future as dementia can be short term or takes years. My boss's wife had Alzheimer's for 15 years but she was able to be on her own for quite a few years before a caregiver was hired.
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