We had to put Mom in memory care a few months ago. She HATED it. So much so that I was ready to take her back home. Then I would remember all the problems when she was home. I have been her support for 17 years after her 2nd husband died, actually 37 since my father died. I was burnt out. She wouldn't remember if she ate, I know she didn't because I did all her shopping and then throwing away all the old food. She thinks she is still perfectly capable of caring for herself, like years back. That's another question, is there any way to convince one that they are not able to take care of themselves any more? She is finally settling in somewhat. I had to stay away, as I was, and still am, a trigger for her wanting to go home. She lived in a woods that was beautiful, fed the birds and so enjoyed nature there. So it devastates me when she wants to go back, and I totally get it. So, suddenly she can't remember that Vic died. Sometimes she thinks they were not married and didn't live together. They were married 10 happy years. She gets so hurt and upset that Vic won't call or see her. Which of course kills me. If we tell her he died, usually she says she didn't know that, or lately, gets so upset. We just go along with her when we can, but when she thinks he has deserted her, that's terrible too. I don't know what to do. She is unhappy either way. Any suggestions?