My mother cannot stand any kind of pain, does this happen with age? - AgingCare.com

My mother cannot stand any kind of pain, does this happen with age?

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She had two teeth pulled and they put in a fabber with four teeth she has no patience for her gums to get wll

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I find that as I get older I cannot tolerate pain like I used to. I have been through a lot and most of it was beyond my control. Now I have pain in many areas and is hard to take.
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Yeah. It takes some serious rationalizing and self-distracting mental power to power through pain. Folks with dementia are not going to be able to filter out fear and pain that way, and yeah, at the same time, they are more scared and immobilized under the circumstances. Mercy is one thing and pity is another - people in pain need medication and mercy, but not too much pity; most kinds of pain only get worse if they are allowed to immobilize you more than necessary. That's why rehab people have such a bad rep for being mean and heartless. :-)
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Hi Veronica. Yes. And I can pretty much guarantee that pain is gonna come back to haunt you again later. Old injuries like to come back and say "hey, remember me?". Not fondly.
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Paper lady, I too broke my tail bone as a teenager and the pain was very real and lasted many years when I sat down.
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To noGuilt... I hope your mother was given some good painkillers for the broken tailbone. Broke mine a long time ago and it was one of the most excruciating pains I've had and it didn't let up. I've had other really horrible pain but I digress. Was mis-diagnosed that it was bruised. Nope, snapped the sucker right off. I resorted to alcohol as pain management which you don't want to do. Desperate times, desperate measures. I eventually found a doctor who did a steroid injection in it which took care of it. You can't imagine the relief!
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My answer was not harsh, but if your mother broke her tailbone, or even bruised her tailbone, she should have went to a hospital, for medical treatment, whether she wanted to go or not, because they are so excruciatingly painful.

Sometimes, it is best (for everybody concerned) if people we take care or get the medical treatment they need and deserve, that is why we are their caretakers.

Sometimes their decisions about themselves run into self-neglect, which even if they do it to themselves is still abuse, than to go along with their fears, which even if you agree or suspect there is some truth to it, all of that stuff is documented.

About your feelings of survival and PT, I have had three strokes, if not for determination to remain independent, I would have been in a nursing home unable to walk or talk and certainly not able to advocate for the rights of my 86 year old.

I did twelve years out get to make and walk across the stage of my own college graduation.

Never Underestimate the Nature of Human Will. Never Underestimate the Nature of the Human Mind.
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My mother suffered with arthritis for many years, but she never complained and kept going. A few years into her dementia, I too noticed that her tolerance for pain became less. In fact, as her dementia has progressed, all of her senses seem to be out of wack. Also, sometimes older people won't take pain medication because they are afraid of getting addicted, so it is hard to get their pain under control.
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In response to the harsh answers regarding my mother's broken tailbone....
Mom REFUSED to see a doctor because she was so paranoid that we would have her committed. With that much paranoia, you would think she would have sense enough not to go to the front door, hang off the porch, and scream at the top of her lungs that she couldn't get her mail (which was just to the right of her) because -as she said- "broke her back." If the neighbors would have heard her, THEY would have reported her to authorities to have her psychologically evaluated.

I have no doubt that a broken tailbone hurts (I looked it up on the internet before making judgement on my mother's actions)....my point is that my mother screamed bloody murder even laying in the bed without moving for several minutes. In my childhood, she denied us the right to scream if we were in pain....I ask for the same consideration from an ADULT.

And as for being heartless......How would you feel if I told you my mother just had a MAJOR stroke 3 weeks ago and I have been her #1 advocate? Her doctor said Mom would never walk again and would probably never be able to talk or communicate again...and that the rest of her life would probably be spent in a nursing home. ****REALLY???**** I would not give up on that lady! I FOUGHT for her right to receive physical, occupational, and speech therapy. TODAY (just 3 weeks later), she walks, goes to the bathroom by herself, is feeding herself, uses the magnetic alphabet board that **I** made for her to spell words, and even uses a pencil & paper to write words. Her doctor thought I was crazy. I'm glad the therapy department at St Patrick's Hospital in Lake Charles, LA didn't think so. I'm so glad they believed Mom could do it!!!!
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Dear Veronica, Thank you for your excellent commentary on pain assessment and medication management. I am not a nurse nor a health care professional, but caregiving for my mother over 15 years and watching the progression of her osteo arthritic and spine conditions made me very finely tuned to every nuance of her behavior. I learned all the signs and signals just as you described. We worked very closely with her pain management specialist and the procedure for the morphine dosages and timing were as you described. There were several times I had to bring her out of withdrawal-like symptons (writhing, jumping, twitching spasms) because due to her early dementia she would forget to take her medications for 24-36 hours, although she would swear to me that she took 'everything' she was supposed to and at the right time, when I would call to check on her and give her reminders. Keeping the pain at bay and under control is vitally important, and your comment "This does take a lot of experience and bedside observation. It is very important not to let pain get out of control because it takes much more medication to obtain relief" was so true. There were times I went to her after work, only to find that that she had taken no medicine all day, despite her assurances that she had taken 'everything'. I would then have to space out her pain meds over the rest of the evening, giving her a full dose, then just enough at intervals to bring relief until morning, when she coud resume her regular regimen. There were many times I had to sleep over, which was preferable to spending the night in the ER (although early on that is exactly what we had to do until I learned how to handle it myself). Thankfully she has been in the NH over one year, and I kept right on top of the NH doctor not to change her pain meds due to the fact that the regimen we achieved was keepiing her pain free. I can tell you that many times when she was hospitalized, doctors that did not know her history tried to change or reduce her meds with agonizing consequences for my Mom (at which point I read them the riot act). I think that is why when people downplay the 'reality' of an elderly person's pain experience, I go a little off the anger scale!
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Candie, Your mother CAN stand pain if she went through labor and delivery. That is not to say she should suffer now, but did you check to see if she has developed "dry socket" where the teeth came out? The doctor who did the extractions should be able to check this and help her.
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