Mom calls 8x/day; thinks I never visit or call. Seems like all my efforts are without value. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

Mom calls 8x/day; thinks I never visit or call. Seems like all my efforts are without value. Any advice?

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I always visit and take her for an outing on Sundays. Yesterday we went to a wonderful greenhouse in a great park. Two hours later she calls and says she would like for me to visit her sometime, that I haven't been to see her in many weeks. Highly frustrating. I mark on her calendar, I send pictures of our outings. What else to do? Grin and bear it is wearing thin with this constant barrage.

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I tried to get my sister not to answer all of the phone calls. I mean, really, Mother could not remember that she said that she was going out to a restaurant. She was not going to remember that she had called several times.
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You could perhaps get a pretty calendar and mark on it the dates you visit, but it might actually serve as a reminder of her failing memory.

I do like Vicky's suggestion of an album. Even if your mother doesn't remember the outing, looking at the photos might just be relaxing.
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Sounds like you are doing about as much as you can. It is hard when their memory is gone. Sometimes one must do the "yes, I am sorry, I will visit as soon as I can" but I am sure that really does wear thin. I made a notebook for the folks. It is a 3 ring binder with a section for each family. It just sort of chronicles the places we have taken them or the pictures of their grandkids, great grandkids. Then the trick is to sit down with them and relive the things in the pictures to keep bringing them to mind. Many of the ones that I do are a picture on the top half and the Person(s), Ages of children, Place and Event printed on the bottom half. My siblings have been a big help with this. Because the first 1-inch binder got full we are now on the second one!! They both have cognitive issues, but are in an ALF. Sorry I can not be of more help than to tell you what we have done. God Bless You in your Journey!
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My mom has been in rehab for 3 weeks. She told me it has been almost a year. :/ She also said it would be nice if you'd actually call or come and visit me, Paula... I said mom I'm here EVERY DAY. She looked at me like I have 3 heads. Not much you can do, I don't think...
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Hi Sophe500, I totally understand your frustration. Is your mom in an ALF? If she's suffering from moderate or later stage dementia, unfortunately I don't believe this will change. The short-term memory loss is really hard on LOs and the patient as well. What I try to do, and I'm not a patient person by nature, is to go along with her version of the situation and just promise that you will visit her soon.
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