My mom called the police when I was outside barbecuing. What can I do?

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When I walked inside the phone was ringing and it was the police. This is not the first time my Mom called 911. Any idea's on what I can do? Thanks.

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Here in Utah, they will respond to any and all 911 calls--my daughter's friend had a cell # that was 915- and she dialed 91, and then 1 again (by mistake) and sure enough 5 minutes later I have cops at my door and no idea why. They had definitely had this "problem" before, but had me step outside and "assess" the situation. Kept asking me if I was OK. I was in the dark for about 10 minutes as they grilled my poor kid.
I understood, it was a mistake, but if the DON'T respond....well, big time trouble for them.

My mother's "fall pendant" called 4 people and then 911. After her hip surgery, she was falling constantly. The EMT's were sick to death of coming to her apt to simply pick her up off the floor, esp as she LIVES with my brother. Brother added 4 more numbers to the calling list and that helped.

If you have a landline (some of us dinosaurs still do) simply disconnect it when you leave the house, so Mom can't call. Don't let her have a cell phone either.

Yes, they will begin to charge you after so many "useless calls".

You need a serious break and some help. I imagine this 911 calling is just the tip of an iceberg with mom. Please try to arrange some outside help for a few hours a week. This will not get "better". I know how hard it is to accept the decline of a parent.
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My grandmother called the police several times on my mom. It was in the evenings. Never during the day. She had Sundowners and thought people were out to steal everything and all her money including my mom whom she loved dearly. The last time she called the police they met my mom at the facility and mom was so over wrought from lack of sleep that she broke down and the police completely understood when my dad explained everything. My mom worked full time and took care of her in laws along with her mom that had dementia and called all time of the night with different stories that she believed were true......there was a fire out in the hallway, people were eating all her food in the kitchen (she had no kitchen) etc. Mom finally left the phone in her room but disconnected it. When my grandmother would complain, mom would tell her that she was working on getting it fixed and talking to the phone company (she was in an assisted living facility). Anyway, my grandmother passed away and wouldn't you know my mom had dementia/alz. Passed away last Aug. She was in a facility also and they did the same thing. When the patients would come up to the desk and DEMAND to use the phone, they would have a "fake" phone there and say they were working with the phone co. to get it fixed and that would make it better for these poor souls. I lived with my mom for a month while my dad was in the hospital and that was when she was "fairly" functional but still up all night. I was so sleep deprived that I almost couldn't function (and I'm an active person or was). After my dad came home from hospital she completely went over the edge. She couldn't handle me being there and her routine was off. This is such a long story and I'm sorry about that......I guess my point being, look into respite care for her. A lot of facilities do this on a day to day, week to week or a month basis. Or, if your community has an "adult daycare" center that is another way to go. They are great at seeing which people need what and place them with the same type of people. Again sorry this was so long. Guess I needed to vent after taking care of dad who is turning 95 next week. Good luck and God Bless all of you.
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Thanks again for all of your input. No, I can not leave my Mom alone at all. I think deep down I didn't want to accept that my Mom's dementia has gotten worse but the fact is it has gotten worse and I know it will keep progressing.

I did find the website in my state for Area Counsel on Aging and I do believe they offer volunteer services for respite. I will call them and find out for sure.

As far as my Mom being eligible for Medicaid I need to find out.

Will let you know as soon as I know. Thanks again everyone!
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Would your mother qualify for Medicaid? If so, that would help a lot financially. They typically cover a certain number of hours per week of in-home help, and they also cover Adult Day Health Programs -- which are generally an awesome option.

You are right that you can no longer leave Mom alone. It is like being responsible for a very young child. You cannot say, "I really have to get to the drugstore. It will only take 15 minutes. She should be OK for that long." No. While it is obvious you can't leave a three-year-old alone, it is a little harder to tell when it is no longer safe to leave your impaired loved one alone. Sounds like you've reached that point.

Call your Area Agency on Aging and see if there are any volunteer services for short respite. There is one in my community. I think they came for a couple of hours once a week. Any extra hours you can get, go for it!

Check back in and let us know how this is going for you and for Mom.
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Check with your area council on ageing, too, or Alzheimer's Association for day care facilities. I've had excellent results from them. You can even find overnight facilities for that much needed break that you are going to need at some point.
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If you have a local college near you get touch with the Dean and ask if they know of someone studying to be in the health care industry who would like to help you out. Our local college has a program of sending aspiring caregivers to assisted living facilities for credit. I'm sure one of them would love to make some money while apprenticing at your home.

I had a girl going to college helping me. She was great. While my husband napped we'd go outside and do lawn stuff. She'd do anything, take him to the gym, out to lunch, you name it, she did it. I hope you find one like her.
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Thanks so much for all your replies. Yes, I can unplug the cordless phones (my Mom only knows where 1 phone is) and she doesn't know where I keep my cell.

I'm really afraid to leave her alone as I am scared of her falling down (she uses a walker).

Yesterday I took her to her doctor and between the walker and the transport chair it worked out great and Mom really enjoyed the drive (about 8 miles each way). I think getting out is good for both of us. If I did bring her into a grocery store I use a fabric bag that holds food that I can strap over one shoulder. Of course I couldn't do a large food shopping. They also have carts with a wheelchair attached so I can probably use that. There is so many elderly people who live in my town.

I did call the caregiver service and they charge $20.00 an hour. I also have a friend who let me know if I ever need help to call her. I may discuss this with my friend who I would pay to stay with my Mom.

This is something I am still thinking about as I don't want to rush into any decisions just yet but get more information from this agency and my friend. Before we moved I had a neighbor/friend that my Mom was really comfortable with. Problem is neighbor doesn't drive but her husband (or sister) does. I may call her and see if we can arrange something where either her husband or sister could drop her off as she could really use the money.

Again, I need time to think about this. One thing is for sure, I do need some time for myself.
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The operators that man those Alert buttons are very patient. They realize that people will call them when they aren't needed. Mom's was a motion sensor one so it she fell and became unconscious help would be sent. She was always hitting it on something. The operator would come on and ask if everything was alright and Mom would explain what happened.

Is there a way to hide your phones? I have cordless and used to put the base and phone in a cupboard to keep away from my grandson. It was still plugged into an outlet just grandson couldn't get to it. If you have wall phones that have to be plugged in to get Caller ID and voicemail, unplug them and see if that shuts them down. Some only work with electricity. A bad feature, yes, had this problem at work when the electric went out, no phones.
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My mom was also calling the police from her assisted living apartment. They came 3 times in a week and then let us know they might start charging our family for the calls. We did restrict their phone line after that and ultimately my mom doesn't have a phone now. My dad who lives in a separate apartment in the facility, does (mom is in memory care), but my dad continuously unplugs the phone by accident.
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Had the same problem my ward had a help button they always pushed, had to unhook it from the phone line so instead of calling 911 it called the caregiver on duty. A land line you can be unplugged and repluged quickly when needed, and cell phone you might have to hide. Unless she is by herself at anytime. You can register the number with 911 and a note will pop up with a phone number of a caregiver for verification. Make sure you have a key to the door my charge started locking me out. havent found away to stop it
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