If I put Mom in care with POA can her boyfriend come behind me and get her out? - AgingCare.com

If I put Mom in care with POA can her boyfriend come behind me and get her out?

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My mother has problems close to dementia and she is quickly getting worse...she lives with her boyfriend who has her wait on him hand and foot and uses her to make my life hell I want to get her out of that situation and somewhere where she'll at least be given medical care which she isn't getting now because he doesn't want her to have it. But I've been told that if I put her in care that he can just come a long behind me and sign her back out...is this true?? Also I would go to court and get everything done legally but I just can't afford it...and her boyfriend has been getting her to do things to cause trouble for me for over half a year now...what can I do? to get this stopped and to get her out of there?
Someone had asked me in a different area if my mothers boyfriend has a POA and as far as I know he doesn't....But I do have a POA...i'm not sure if this helps or not....because if he tells her to sign something she will so if I were to put her into care and then he were to try and get her out and found out that all he needed was a POA all he would have to do is tell her to sign it and she would.

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I really think you should call aps to look in on her.
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She has told me in the past that he "won't allow her" to take certain meds and when the family try's to talk her into going to the doctor or taking medication she'll agree UNTIL she either talks to him on the phone or in person then suddenly she changes her mind , he even had her convinced that gator aid was a cure all and that it would help hydrate her brain and that she didn't need any other meds but that....I have been trying to stay out of the situation even though I don't like it but the problem is now that she's gotten so bad he's making her do things to get at me and make my life hard so even though I've been trying to stay away from them and the situation their bringing it to me. And I need a way to make it stop because he seems to be out for my blood why I don't know other then he just doesn't like me...He's had her constantly doing things to me just out of the blue for no reason and since I live in the family home i'm worried that the next thing will be it...And legally I know that they haven't done enough to file charges on either of them and force a change YET! but I really don't want to wait and let it go that far....sadly I can't afford a lawyer or I would have gone to an elder care one already...as for the common law thing my mother never calls him anything other then her friend and I was told that for someone to be common law you had to refer to the other as your spouse....my mother does realize and so does her boyfriend that if they were to do that she would lose everything because the bulk of her money comes from my father who passed years ago....and her boyfriend really doesn't want to lose the money!!
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Your mum is in a very vunerable situation i would go and see an elder lawyer and elderly protection services he dosnt sound like a good man and surely you have a case if she is not getting her meds? boyfriend or not this isnt right he should be looking after her not the other way around with dementia that cannot look out for themselves how on earth is she supposed to look after him something smells and i wouldnt trust him he could get your mum to do anything he likes. If legally you cant do anything then id stay away and just be there for her when she needs you. So sorry what an awful situation.
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"she cannot be placed in care UNLESS she agrees to go" (correction)
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Not sure where you live, but if he's been there a while, in some states he would be considered a Common-Law Husband. Common-law marriage can still be contracted in nine states (Alabama, Colorado, Kansas, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Iowa, Montana, Utah and Texas) and the District of Columbia. Although you have POA, that only empowers you to carry out her wishes. So she cannot be placed in care if she agrees to go. You know she won't.
She has made her choice. You, on the other hand, are free to go, and you should. Move on with your life and let her move on with hers. Just let her know you are there for her if she needs you.
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River, so much depends on what your mother wants to do. You will have to follow her lead on this. If you have POA, I wouldn't make much mention of it until things are settled for your mother. If you point out to the boyfriend that you have POA, he can get your mother to change it. I know you wouldn't want that.

Is he physically keeping her from getting medical care? Is there something she needs to have treatment for? When you talked about putting her into care and him signing her back out, I am not sure what you meant. Do you mean putting her into assisted living or a nursing home? Please explain and someone may have some good advice.
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