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She wants "real" undies. She will not let caregivers go into the bathroom with her. Recently, she has left the bathroom with no pull up on.

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Will she wear the pads instead?
Some of the pull ups are bulky and probably not very comfortable, have you tried any of the ones that are slimmer and "pretty"?
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I agree with cwillie. Suggest to your mom that she wear a pad which is better than nothing. If she refuses, wait until she has a few accidents and then revisit the the issue of the disposable pull-up. Be compassionate and understanding and suggest to her that she doesn't want to smell like urine, does she? Again, being gentle and mindful of her feelings.
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I am having the same issues with my husband. He will not wear anything. The bathroom floor is a catch all and if I say anything he goes crazy. Screaming and talking bad to me. You are in my prayers and I am worn out
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michlaz, my Dad had that problem as he felt the "pads" were for women only.... [sigh]. Eventually my Mom got tired of cleaning up the rugs and floors. So the next time Dad had an accident, Mom handed him the rags and cleaning materials.

After a few accidents and Dad needing to do the cleaning, Mom had written Depends for Dad on her grocery list. Oh, my parents were in their 90's during this time.
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Great suggestions, thank you all! I know all the caregivers want to continue having Mom wear the disposables, but maybe we will try the pads. Going backwards with care levels is not easy, but Mom used to be OK with thick pads only a couple years back. Her disposables are Always Overnight style, and may be too thick for during the day, and as pretty as they come, I guess. Mom just wants to wear regular clothes, and believe it is because she is no longer able to understand that there are some things her mind is missing. She used to know her memory and thinking were not as good as they used to be. But now, seems she is often very delusional and confused most of the time. One thing she does feel with every bone in her body is that she is fine, nothing is wrong with her health or thinking, and we (me, mostly) have just gotten "carried away" by having 24-hour care for her in her home.

We were all told by a neurologist when she was discharged from rehab early in 2014, following a fall and brain bleed, that she must have ongoing round-the-clock care for the remainder of her life. Mom has never accepted that, but now I'm sure she would not remember ever hearing that.

Hugs to all who are dealing with this, especially the resistance to clearly needed products. It is just plain frustrating, and I am very weary of trying to figure out new ways to try and keep the odor down and the caregivers and Mom relatively in agreement.
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Always has a Boutique line that she might like, or the Depends Silhouette style come in different colours; they may not be frilly lingerie but are definitely more sleek and pretty than an overnight product would be.
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cwillie, I will check those out, thx! I do realize the overnight pullups are quite thick, and believe my Mom asked for them at one time. That was back a year or 2 tho', and it was more the cut she liked of what we use now than anything else. We are in AZ, so quite hot here soon - another good reason to find some lighter weight pull ups.
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